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Finding True Love
Part I. A Full Heart
The Great Slaughter
The most important event in the history of the world â with the exclusion of Matan Torah â took place in a secluded spot, on an isolated mountain-top, with only two people present. Actually, not only was it the second most important event after Matan Torah but it was the preface and the reason for Matan Torah. Because of what happened on that mountain-top, the Am Yisroel merited to receive the Torah and to be chosen as the Am Hashem.
What event are we talking about? It was when Avraham Avinu stretched out his hand with a sharpened knife to cut the neck of his beloved son, Yitzchok. Now the fact that in the last moment Hashem said ×Öˇ× ×ŞÖ´Öź×ŠÖ°××Öˇ× ×Ö¸×Ö°×Ö¸ ×Öś× ×Öˇ× ÖˇÖź×˘Öˇ×¨ â Donât send your hand against the young man (Vayeira 22:12), that doesnât detract from the greatness of his intention. Avraham after all didnât know Chumash; he didnât know that he would be stopped at the last moment. As far as he was concerned he would be returning home without Yitzchok. He was going to fulfill the command of Hashem and cut through Yitzchokâs throat, the konoh and the veshet, a koshereh shechitah, and then he would burn him up as an olah offering to Hashem.
Now, what was Avraham demonstrating at that time? The highest level of ahavas Hashem; not only that he loved Hashem but that there was nothing in this world that he loved more than Hashem.
Now, we understand of course that Avraham loved Yitzchok with an intense love. He waited for him so many years â a hundred years! And finally when he came, he was such a beautiful boy. He had a beautiful mother so of course he was beautiful too. And he was wise and excellent in character; and it was his boy, his flesh and blood! And Avraham therefore let loose all the floodgates of love of which a father is capable; he burned with fiery passion of ahavah to Yitzchok. ×֜ת ×ÖźÖ´× Ö°×Ö¸ ×֜ת ×Ö°×Ö´××Ö°×Ö¸ ×ֲ׊×֜ר ×Ö¸×Öˇ×ְתָ֟ â Your singularly special son whom you love (ibid. 22:2).
What Can You Give?
But itâs much more than that. The truth is we have no idea how great was the passion of Avraham for his son because Yitzchok was more than a son â he was a nation, a dream.
Iâll explain that. You know, Avraham, our first father, had one consuming interest in his life. Wherever he went, ×Öˇ×ÖźÖ´×§Ö°×¨Ö¸× ×ְ֟׊×Öľ× ×֡׊֟×Öľ× â he proclaimed Hashem (Lech Lecha 12:8). He put everything he had into this ideal, to be mefarsem in the world the knowledge of the Borei.
But he saw that it wasnât sufficient because heâs only one person after all. And then his time would come to an end; and that was his great regret. Even when Hakadosh Baruch Hu promised him that ׊×Ö°×ָרְ×Ö¸ ×֡רְ×ÖźÖľ× ×Ö°×Öš× â âYour reward is very great,â Avraham said, ×֡׊֟×Öľ× ×Öą×Öš×§Ö´×× ×Öˇ× ×ŞÖźÖ´×ŞÖźÖś× ×Ö´×, â âHashem, itâs nothing. What can You give me?!â (Bereishis 15:2).
What can Hashem give him?! He can give him very much. Very very much! Not only in this world. Thereâs no happiness that He canât give Avraham in the Next World. And Avraham says, âWhat are You giving me?â It seems very ungrateful.
But ×Ö°×Ö¸× Öš×Ö´× ××Öš×Öľ×Ö° עֲרִ××¨Ö´× â âWhat have you given me if Iâm going away childless!â (ibid.) Thatâs what Avraham was saying: âYou have given me nothing if I am going away without any children from this world.â
A child? Why did Avraham need a child? Avraham lived most successfully even without children. He achieved everything! Did he want a little somebody to play with? To walk in the street with him?
A Dream Dashed
No. What Avraham desired was someone who would walk in his footsteps and carry on his great work.
Because Avraham had only one purpose in life â to make Hashemâs Name great â and that purpose could be carried out only if he would have children who would follow in his ways. Everything else that he had received up until now meant nothing unless he would have progeny, posterity who would carry on.
That was his all-consuming wish â to have very many descendants who would help him spread his message to the world. Like the Rambam says, the prime ambition of Avraham Avinu was ×Ö°×֡עֲ×Ö´×× ×Öť×ÖźÖ¸× ×˘×Öš×Öś×֜ת ×֡׊֟×Öľ× â to raise up a nation that would serve Hashem.
And because Hakadosh Baruch Hu knew that thatâs what Avrahamâs greatest desire was, thatâs why He promised it to him again and again. Repeatedly He promised to him that heâs going to have a tremendous nation, an abundance of descendants, and descendants who would follow in his footsteps. And Yitzchok therefore was not only a beloved son but he was the fulfillment of that great life dream. In Yitzchok, Avraham saw his hope, his future, his everything!
Shechting a Nation
And so when he stretched out his hand to slaughter Yitzchok, he wasnât only giving away his love for Yitzchok; it meant Yaakov and his sons too, the shivtei Kah. It meant the shishim ribo, the multitude that went out of Mitzrayim and received the Torah at Har Sinai. It meant Moshe Rabbeinu and Aharon Hakohen and Miriam. It meant all the Neviâim, all the Tannaim and Amoraim and Rishonim and Achronim.
When Avraham was looking at his son as he placed him on the mizbeach, he was looking at Rabi Akiva. In Yitzchokâs face he saw the Rambam and Rashi. He saw all the gedolei hadoros down to the end of all generations.
And because Avraham was the kind of father who loved not only with his emotions but with his seichel, so he loved Yitzchok not only as a most special son but also for all of his progeny too. Not like parents today who love their children, they love their grandchildren next, their great-grandchildren less and after that, itâs a question how much they love them. Avrahamâs love was an almost infinite love. And now he was going to give away the love; he was going to sacrifice all of that love on the altar of love of Hashem.
From the Bottom of My Heart
Thatâs called ahavas Hashem; thatâs the siman of a genuine oheiv Hashem, when your love for Hashem pushes out from your heart and mind the love for anything else. The Rambam says that in his Hilchos Teshuvah (10:6). Heâs talking there about the mitzvah of loving Hashem ×ÖźÖ°×Ö¸× ×Ö°×Ö¸×Ö°×Ö¸, with all your heart, and he says that thereâs a certain condition thatâs necessary: ×Öľ×× ×Öˇ×Ö˛×֡ת ×֡קָ֟××Öš×Š× ×ָ֟ר×Öź×Ö° ××Öź× × Ö´×§Ö°×Š×֜ר֜ת ×ÖźÖ°×Ö´×Öź×Öš ׊×Öś× ×Ö¸×Ö¸× ×˘Öˇ× … ׊×Öś×֟֡עֲ×Öš× ×ÖźÖ¸× ×Öˇ× ×Š×Öś×ָ֟ע×Öš×Ö¸× ××֟׼ ×Ö´×ÖźÖś× ÖźÖ¸× â âIt is impossible to love Hashem if you have love of other things in your heart.â
âAll your heartâ means â you do not share the love of Hashem with anything or anyone else. He wants all of your heart and therefore a person has to drive out of his mind any kind of interests except ahavas Hashem.
It means, donât become involved in love of anything else. Donât become a lover of adventure, a lover of literature, a lover of art, of music, of travel; donât become a lover of anything else in this world except Hashem.
If you love ânatureâ, then forget about loving Hashem. You love to go out in the fields and the forests? You love to go out camping? Youâre thinking about what type of equipment to buy? Forget about it. You’ll never love Hashem.
How to Love Nature
Oh, certainly nature is a very great step up to a love of Hashem. Certainly! If you’ll always be looking at it for the purpose of recognizing the Creator, certainly. ×Ö¸×ָר֜׼ ×Ö˛××Öš× ×¨Öˇ×Ö°×Ö¸× â The world is a footstool to arrive at the greatness of loving Hashem (Yeshayah 66:1).
Certainly! I carry a seed in my pocket, an apple seed. I take it out of my pocket from time to time to admire it. Certainly, nature is a step up to emunah and to ahavas Hashem. No question about it! But when people fall in love with nature because they like ânatureâ, then forget about loving Hashem.
If you love âmusicâ then goodbye, forget about loving Hashem. You hear that? Now I know it’s going to sound harsh to people who were brought up with American ideas, but there’s nothing noble in music. Intrinsically it’s nothing at all. Of course it can be utilized. Oh certainly; music can help you arrive at more ahavas Hashem. But if you love âmusicâ for itself, if you’re a music enthusiast, then forget about it.
Familial Love
Even to love your own family! Donât become a lover, even of your own family, unless itâs in connection with ahavas Hashem.
Your wife too! Now, when you are going to meet a girl, a prospective kallah, donât tell her that because she will think that you wonât have any place in your heart for her. And if sheâll ever ask you this kasha; letâs say she heard this lecture and she says, âSo, if youâre one of those who come to Rabbi Millerâs lectures, so you love Hashem and nobody else?â, so you say, âWhen I love Hashem with all my heart it means that I love my wife with all my heart too because Hashem said ××Öš×Öľ× ×֜ת ×ִ׊×ְת֟×Öš ×ÖźÖ°××֟פ×Öš.â
And thatâs the truth; a man loves his wife because Hakadosh Baruch Hu commanded him to. Thatâs the way a man demonstrates his appreciation for the gift that Hashem gave him. ×Ö¸×ִ׊ָ֟×× ×ֲ׊֜××¨Â × Ö¸×ŞÖˇ×ŞÖ¸Öź× עִ×Ö¸Öź×Ö´× – it is a gift that Hashem gives a man (Bereishis 3:12). And the wife of course goes b’derech haTorah and helps him carry out his ambitions to raise a Torah family, so he loves her because he loves Hashem.
When you love people because you love Hashem, that is something else. And therefore to love a son that is going to go b’derech hayashar is actually love of Hashem. And a son who is going even more in the ways of Hashem so you love him even more. A good child, a righteous child, deserves much more love â no question about it â because Hashem loves him more.
Limited Love
And chas v’sholom if a man has a son that goes off the derech hayashar and rebels against Hashem, so he stops loving him as much as he did previously. He doesnât allow the animal feeling, the animal emotion to overcome his seichel; he loves only because Hashem said so. His heart has no room for any love except ahavas Hashem.
A woman spoke to me about her mother who was not living like a Jewish woman should live â she was living with a gentile â so I said, âShe is not your mother.â She gasped. She was shocked. But she thought it over and she accepted it. She accepted because she accepted the mitzvah of loving Hashem with all your heart, that we have only one love in this world.
And our model is Avraham. Because his love for Yitzchok was such a great love, a stormy passion like the waves of the sea, endless; much more than this lady loved her mother. And so when he went through all the preparations, he was driving that love out of his heart before the love of Hashem. ×Öˇ×ÖźÖ´×§ÖźÖˇ× ×֜ת ×˘Ö˛×ŚÖľ× ×ָע×Öš×Ö¸×. He himself chopped the firewood in order to feel that heâs going to burn his son in the fire. He had plenty of servants but he did it himself because he wanted to feel how heâs doing it himself. Everything for Hashem! Nothing will be held back!
It was a feat of tremendous proportions, the greatest expression of ahavas Hashem to ever take place in the history of the world because it meant that Avraham was sacrificing his greatest love, his greatest hope and dream, before the love of Hashem.
Part II. A Heart Full of Fear
Love or Fear?
Now, thereâs a question here because we know that at that time, Hakadosh Baruch Hu said to Avraham, ×˘Öˇ×ŞÖźÖ¸× ×Ö¸×Öˇ×˘Ö°×ŞÖźÖ´× ×ÖźÖ´× ×Ö°×¨Öľ× ×Öą×Öš×§Ö´×× ×Öˇ×ŞÖźÖ¸× â âNow I know that you fear Elokimâ (Vayeira 22:12). At this moment, when Avraham achieved the heights of ahavas Hashem, Hashem didnât say, âI see now that you love Elokim.â He said, âNow I know that you fear Me.â
The question is, why is that so? On the contrary, to us it seems like fear and love are polar opposites. We think that where there’s yirah there’s no ahavah.
Now, if weâre going to understand the answer to this enigma, we should listen first to the words of a great authority, the Chovos Halevavos, at the beginning of his Shaar Ahavas Hashem. Thatâs âThe Gate of Loving Hashemâ. Iâll read it inside: ×ÖźÖ´× ×ÖźÖ¸× ×Ö¸× ×Š×Öś×§ÖźÖ¸×Öˇ× ×Ö¸× ×Öź ×Ö´×ְר×Öš ×֟֡ץ֟־פ֜ר ×Öˇ×ÖźÖś× â Whatever Iâve mentioned previously in this sefer about the the duties of the mind and the qualities of character, all these things are maâalos and madreigos, theyâre steps and ladders to go up, ×Öś× ×Ö¸×˘Ö´× Ö°×Ö¸× ×ָע֜×Ö°××Öš× ×Öˇ×ÖźÖś× â to this most important of all subjects, which is ahavas Hashem. Heâs telling us that everything that was discussed in this great sefer until now was a preparation to that great quality of ahavas haBorei yisborach.
It means that in order to approach the subject of ahavas Hashem, a very great preparation is necessary. Itâs not like people think, a matter of deciding that youâre going to love Hashem. People think that itâs just a matter of wanting to do it, when theyâre good and ready theyâll do it. No, it takes work. It needs a lot of hakdamos, many chapters in the Chovos Halevavos before you get to Shaar Ahavas Hashem.
Fear Before Love
And what is the most important, the most essential hakdamah? Yiras Hashem. Thatâs what the Chovos Halevavos says, that without yiras Hashem you can never gain ahavah.
Why is that so? Because letâs be frank; letâs stop being disingenuous. How are you going to love Hashem? Love what? Can you love a vacuum? Can you love air? Can you love empty space? You have to have a Hashem in order to love Him.
And so even if youâre just going to begin loving Him now â letâs say you never really considered it much but now youâre hearing this and youâre thinking, âMaybe I should do it. After all, Iâm saying it every day, a few times, ×Ö°×Ö¸×Öˇ×ְתָ֟ ×־ת ×’ ×Öą×Öš×§Öś××Ö¸, but what am I doing about it? Lâmaaseh, nothing at all!â
Isnât it a shame? Someday youâll come to the Next World and thereâll be a judgment. You want to come into Gan Eden and the shoimer will ask, âDid you ever love Hashem?â You scratch your head. Youâre trying to remember.
Start With Emunah
That would be a tragedy. So imagine you want to start tonight; you want to try at least. But you canât love thin air. You need Something to love. Which means, you have to have emunah.
But not emunah like a man told me recently, âI have emunah peshutah. I believe.â Now, Iâm sure this man will run into a fire for kiddush Hashem because thatâs the kind of emunah he has. But that doesnât mean he has emunah. Emunah means that you believe in Hashem with at least the same belief that you have in your cousin in the Bronx. Imagine you have a nice cousin in the Bronx. You see him at the family simchahs; he sends you a check on your birthday every year. So you believe in him. Thatâs emunah!
So your emunah in Hashem should be at least as much as that. But if your emunah in Hakadosh Baruch Hu is emunah sichlis, itâs only intelligence â and even then, itâs hazy; itâs phrases, words, thereâs no actuality about it, you donât feel it â so thatâs not emunah.
Seeing Is Believing
And therefore the first step towards love of Hashem is yiras Hashem, fearing Him. Because âto fearâ, in its most poshut explanation, means âto be aware, to have emunah.â And Iâll explain that al pi dikduk. Because reish-alef means to see. We write it as ר×× but the hei falls off. And yud-reish-alef, ×ר×, means to be afraid. Those words are relatives and theyâre not distant cousins; theyâre close relatives. In ××¨× the yud falls off many times and in ר×× the hei falls off many times, so ×¨× is the shoresh. The root of the words âto seeâ and âto fearâ is the same.
Now thatâs not drush; itâs dikduk, itâs the simple explanation of the words. And if you think about it, youâll find that itâs justified. Because fear means awareness. âTo be afraidâ means âto see somethingâ, âto recognize somethingâ that arouses emotions in you, either apprehension or something else. If you donât see that a peril is soon to come upon you, there’s no fear because youâre unaware. So yirah, fear, is a result of reâiyah, seeing, awareness. Fear means mamashus because you only fear something thatâs real, that youâre aware of.
Fear Means Heâs Real
But itâs not merely the fear. Of course, thatâs a benefit, to be afraid of doing a sin; but thereâs something in addition to that, even more valuable, and that is that it gives you emunah chushis. Because if your whole belief is invested only in lâosid lavo, that after you leave this life in Olam Haba thereâll be judgment and retribution and reward, whatever it is, so itâs not so simple that it will be a motivation for you. Itâs not so easy to be motivated by far off things. But when a man is thinking he needs Hashem right now, the next minute he needs Him because he wants to be safe and healthy and successful, so that brings Hashem close to him. And Hashem becomes so real that now when he wants to practice ahavas Hashem, he has Something on which to practice it. Heâs right here!
And thatâs why yirah is so important as a preface and as an adjunct to ahava. Because to love something thatâs very far off is extremely difficult. But to love an object which you already picture in your mind and is constantly before your mindâs eye, that comes much easier.
Thatâs why youâre doing a great benefit when little children are taught from the beginning that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is ready to take action against wrong deeds; because it makes them aware that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is right here. Thatâs a wonderful beginning because theyâre gaining emunah now â Hashem is real! He demands! Heâs right here and He reacts! Heâs a Chai Vâkayam, a true reality â and thatâs the emunah theyâll use to come to ahavas Hashem.
And even if youâre not such a little child anymore â letâs say your a man of fifty or sixty â you also have to learn to be afraid. If you do something wrong, thereâs going to be a clobber over the head. You have to believe it kâpashtus. Yiras haâoinesh! We must spend time on being afraid of punishment.
Fear on the Street
Like the Gemara says, ×Ö¸×ŚÖ¸× ×֡׊֟××Öź×§ â Anytime you walk out on the street, ×Ö°×Ö´× ×Öź×Öš×Öś× ×ְ֟ע־×× Ö¸×× ×ÖźÖ°×Ö´×Öź×Öź × Ö´×ְץ֡ר ץ֡רְ×ÖźÖ´××Öš× â you should practice up fear by feeling like youâve just been arrested by a Roman sergeant. You know a Roman sergeant, if he arrests a man, that man is an unfortunate fellow. In the ancient days a policeman meant business. Even not so long ago, when I was a boy, I walked through certain neighborhoods at night. There was no question about it because everybody was afraid of the policeman. And there was only one policeman! And he didn’t have any patrol cars; he didn’t have any walkie-talkies either. All he had was a billy club. But he knew that if he used it there wouldn’t be any civilian review board and therefore one policeman on foot was enough to intimidate a big neighborhood.
And you can be sure that the Roman sergeant was even worse. And so when the Chachomim tell us that as soon as you walk out in the street you should imagine that youâre already being followed by a Roman policeman it means that you should be afraid of what might happen to you on the street.
Now we donât have to suspect the Chachomim of trying to give us nerves, to make us sick. They only want us to live successfully and theyâre telling us that every time you go out in the street we should grab that opportunity to practice up our yirah by realizing that anything could happen to you now and you need the help of Hashem.
Now why in the street? And in your house you shouldnât be aware of Hashem? In your kitchen you donât need His protection? The answer is that of course we want to utilize any opportunity we can for yirah but we want to be genuine about it too. In your house, youâre protected. You know whoâs in your house. The street is already a hefker place. In the street, all types of meshugoyim go around.
Street Violence
Who knows what could happen? A man might run amok with a knife or a gun! Who knows? Maybe the cornice of the house will fall down on top of you. It happens sometimes, again and again. Or a car drives up on the sidewalk. Hereâs a nice man â I know him well â and heâs standing on the street corner waiting for the light to change. He has no bad intentions. Suddenly a car drives up on the sidewalk and now heâs been in the hospital for the last two years. Operation after operation.
So itâs true, even in your house you can practice up fear of Hashem but the street is a dangerous place and so the Gemara is telling us to utilize the street as an opportunity for yiras Hashem. Every corner you stop and say, âHashem, please protect from this corner till the next one. Please donât let anything bad happen to me.â
Now, that doesnât mean that life should be full of apprehensions but youâll give yourself a little reminder here and there, itâll redound to your benefit. Even when you hear that somewhere far away people are being killed â that Arab terrorists went into a school and slaughtered children â so you give yourself a shiver. Thatâs a very good shiver because a person who practices on yiras haâoinesh, he is a man who is most likely to climb up to the high madreigah of ahavas Hashem. Because once youâre aware of Hashem, so now you can begin loving Him. And the more and more you become aware of Him â even if youâre an old tzaddik of 120 years you can still grow in awareness â the more and more you can love Him.
Fear, Awareness and Love
And so we come back now to our question. At the great moment, the moment when Avraham Avinu reached the pinnacle of love of Hashem â sacrificing all of his love for Yitzchok on the altar of love of Hashem â Hakadosh Baruch Hu said, â×˘Öˇ×ŞÖźÖ¸× ×Ö¸×Öˇ×˘Ö°×ŞÖźÖ´× â Now I know, ×ÖźÖ´× ×Ö°×¨Öľ× ×Öą×Öš×§Ö´×× ×Öˇ×ŞÖźÖ¸× â you fear Elokim.â What fear?! It was all love!
No! It was all fear, all awareness, because thatâs what Avraham spent his life busy with â he saw Hashem more and more every day and so he had more and more to love every day. And therefore when that great moment came, that great test of sacrificing everything before the love of Hashem, Avraham passed the test with flying colors because he had a heartful of yirah, of awareness. And Hashem said, âNow I know that youâre so aware of Me, Iâm so real to you, that you were able to completely fall in love with Me and put your love for Me before anything else.â
Part III. A Heart Full of Love
Who Needs Tests?
Now, weâre not done yet because thereâs another question here and if weâll understand the answer it will give us a practical path forward in ahavas Hashem. And so we go back to what Hashem said to Avraham Avinu after the akeidah: ×Ö´Öź× ×˘Öˇ×ŞÖ¸Öź× ×Ö¸×Öˇ×˘Ö°×ŞÖ´Öź× â Now I know that youâve built that skyscraper of ahavas Hashem ⌠×Ö°×Öš× ×ָ׊֡××ְתָ֟ ×֜ת ×Ö´Öź× Ö°×Ö¸ ×֜ת ×Ö°×Ö´××Ö°×Ö¸ ×Ö´×ÖśÖź× Ö´Öź× â because I see that You didnât hold back even your one beloved son from Meâ (Vayeira 22:12).
âNow I knowâ?! Didnât Hakadosh Baruch Hu know even without that test? Hashem is not a schoolteacher that He has to give tests in order to see what youâve accomplished. He knows very well whatâs inside you. So what does it mean, âNow I knowâ?
Subterranean Love
And so weâll explain it as follows. You must know that everybody is born with a great store of love of Hashem, potential love of Hashem, in their heart. How much is there? A tremendous fire of love of Hashem is burning there.
You know, inside the earth a tremendous fire, a subterranean fire is burning. Sometimes you can see it when thereâs an eruption of a volcano. Weâre amazed at that â so much heat, so much flame, so much energy is hidden in the bowels of the earth! Same thing in every Jew; thereâs a volcano of ahavas Hashem under the surface waiting to erupt. ×Öˇ×Ö´× ×˘Ö˛×Öť×§ÖźÖ´×× ×˘Öľ×ŚÖ¸× ×Ö°×Öś× ×Ö´××Š× â Like deep waters of a spring is wisdom and counsel in the mind of a man (Mishlei 20:5). Itâs inside of us only that most people let it remain dormant. It sleeps inside of them all their lives and only in the Next World they see what could have been, what they could have brought forth. Itâs a tragedy, a rachmanus, a wasted opportunity.
And therefore our job is to avert that tragedy and bring it forth while weâre still in this world. And itâs possible. ×Ö°×Ö´××Š× ×ŞÖźÖ°××Öź× Ö¸× ×Ö´×Ö°×Öś× ÖźÖ¸× â A man who uses understanding can draw it up like you draw up water with buckets from a well (ibid.) . He can draw up this ahavas Hashem thatâs concealed in the depths of his personality.
Thinking It Through
Now, there are a lot of ways in which ahavas Hashem can be brought to the surface. Number one is by means of thought. An ish tevunos, someone who is willing to use his mind, yidlenah, will draw it forth. Its potential is buried, hidden, within you, but when you think thoughts of ahavas Hashem, so youâre developing that middah in your neshama. When you think about it, you mull it over, you consider it, it comes to the front part of your mind instead of being hidden somewhere in the background.
So a man, letâs say, is walking on the street and he sees his married daughter coming his way, so instead of wasting the opportunity he thinks, âOh, Hashem! I love You so much for marrying off this daughter. Day and night it was on my head, finding her a shidduch, and You did that for me. I love You for that.â So just by thinking those words, you cause it to become min hakoach el hapoal; youâre bringing it into the open more. And the more you think those thoughts â not only that example; you can think about loving Hashem for anything that Hashem has given you â so little by little youâre becoming stronger in that attitude.
Speaking It Out
Now thatâs thoughts. Thinking, thatâs very good, but imagine now that youâll talk about it; oh, thatâs much better already. ×ÖźÖ´× ×Öˇ×ÖźÖ´×× ×Öľ× ×Ö°×֚׌ְ×Öľ××Öś× â Torah is life to those who discover the words of Torah (Mishlei 4:22). ×Öˇ× ×ŞÖźÖ´×§Ö°×¨Öľ× ×Ö°×֚׌ְ×Öľ××Öś× ×Öś×ÖźÖ¸× ×Ö°××֚׌ִ××Öľ××Öś× ×ÖźÖ°×¤Öś× â Instead of motzeihem, âdiscoverâ, read it as âmotzeeâeihemâ, uttering. Torah is more life to you when you utter the words (Eiruvin 44a). When a person says words of ahavas Hashem, so heâs taking his thoughts, which are already precious, and by expressing them with words, thatâs motzee min hakoach el hapoel, heâs making them more real.
So if you can whisper the words quickly before your daughter reaches you, even better. If you can sit in your home when youâre alone, when nobody will hear you, and youâll say, âI love You Hashem for giving me a roof over my head, for giving me the money to pay the rent,â so youâre doing something very big now â youâre loving Hashem not only with machshava but with dibbur too. And the more you talk about it, the more you feel it because youâre drawing forth that fountain of love in your heart to Hashem and making it more effective by means of speech.
Secret Advice
Thatâs why I tell you â itâs good you came here tonight; youâll get some good advice â that you should say these words as much as possible, âI love You Hashem.â You donât love Him? Say it anyhow.
Nobody should hear you. If somebody hears you say it, theyâll think youâre off your head a little bit. Theyâre off their heads but they donât know. So you do it in secret. Walk in a telephone booth and pick up the telephone. Donât drop any money in. Make a long distance call, say, âI love You, Hashem. Ich hob dir lib, Ribono shel Olam.â
Donât think itâs a small thing. Life is passing by! Say, âI love you Hashem.â Keep on saying it and over the course of time, a little bit of that comes into your heart and you begin saying it sincerely.
Little Children Love Too
You know I must tell you what the Gra said. The Gra says that you can even start with little children. âIs that really possible?â he asked. âHow do you start it with little children?â
So he says like this: When a little child is sitting on his highchair and youâre giving him something to eat or a candy so you say, âThis candy is from Hashem. Donât you love Hashem for it? My kind, say âI love You Hashem.ââ
Thatâs seichildig. Itâs very logical. And itâs seichildig for us too. After all, weâre little children too â each one of us is his own most important child â and thatâs how we should talk to ourselves too. So when you sit down to breakfast, you should also think to yourself, âShouldnât I love Hashem that Heâs feeding me? After all, I enjoy eating. It gives me energy and it tastes good too. And Heâs the One giving it to me.â
âOh,â you say, âI should love Hashem because of breakfast? A bowl of cereal is not befitting for such a great subject.â
Loving In Life
Youâre making a big mistake because loving Hashem is not a detached emotion; itâs connected with your normal everyday life. When you put on your shoes, love Hashem for that. Suppose you had no shoes, chalilah and a man came along and said, âHere. Hereâs a pair of shoes.â Youâd love him! No question youâd love him! Baruch Hashem, every day He lends you a pair of shoes. You make a bracha, ׊×֜עָ׊×Ö¸× ×Ö´× ×ÖźÖ¸× ×ŚÖ¸×¨Ö°×ÖźÖ´×, so you see you have to be grateful. You have to love Hashem for your shoes.
Now other people who never think about these things might ridicule this. Theyâll laugh at it. Who cares? Let them laugh. Theyâre laughing at the Chovos Halevavos because heâs the one who says that we should be using that great motivation of hakaras hatov, gratitude to Hashem, to become ohavei Hashem.
Hands and Air
He starts from the benefits, having hands. ×Öˇ×ÖźÖ¸×Öˇ×Ö´× ×ָק֡×֡ת ×Ö°×ָת־ת. Itâs fun to have a hand. Oh yes, itâs a lot of fun! Thereâs a man on the street, I see him frequently. He has an empty sleeve. Baruch Hashem your sleeves are full! And out of your sleeve comes a derrick with more derricks attached to it. You can bend it anyway you want. And the joints of your fingers too! No creaking as the bones rub against each other! Everything is lubricated beautifully. Ah! A pleasure! A taanug! A privilege! As youâre walking down the street, swinging your arm, youâre thinking these thoughts and youâre loving Hashem in your mind.
And when you breathe a breath of air, think how much you should love Hashem for that. Air is the most precious commodity there is â you must have it immediately and constantly â and Heâs giving it to you always. And itâs a special elixir that He made especially for you â itâs a mixture precisely suited to your needs; oxygen and a certain amount of nitrogen and a small amount of carbon dioxide. And each one of them is important in the right proportions so that when we breathe we are oxygenating our blood; we are making ourselves strong, making ourselves energetic and happy.
So why shouldnât you love Hashem for that? Imagine a man is walking and is loving Hashem because he can breathe. He breathes in the Brooklyn air and heâs loving Hashem. If heâs thinking about it, very good. And if heâll say words too, even better.
Acting It Out
Now suppose as a result of your thoughts and your words, you go on and do acts â even better. Words are greater than thoughts and actions are greater than words. If youâll act on your love youâre bringing it out even more.
So you want to carry it out in acts too? You can do that too. You know when you do a mitzvah the poskim tell us there are conditions for a mitzvah; and among the conditions are dechilu uârechimu. You have to have yirah and ahavah when you do a mitzvah. Weâre too busy and weâre also so accustomed to the mitzvah, so we donât think about it, but thatâs what the poskim say. Thatâs a condition. You have to be aware that youâre standing in front of a King and also you have to love Him.
So suppose sometimes you make an exception and say, âThis mitzvah Iâm going to do now because I love you, Hashem.â One time a day youâll choose a mitzvah. Now youâre taking all of those thoughts, all of your words, and youâre making it lâmaaseh. Youâre loving Hashem with your acts. Imagine a person is walking to shul and he thinks, âIâm walking to shul now to daven because I love You and want to speak with You,â so every step he takes is an act of ahavas Hashem.
Growing in Love
And so we come back now to Avraham Avinu. âNow I knowâ means not that Hashem needed this proof to demonstrate that Avraham loved him. No. It means thatâs how he became a greater lover of Hashem. If Avraham took the knife ready to slaughter his beloved son whom he loved with such an overweening love, a love that encompassed all the generations of tzaddikim that would come from him and Avraham was willing to sacrifice everything, that act brought forth the ahavah min hakoach el hapoel into a most prominent and powerful force. And thatâs what it says, ×˘Öˇ×ŞÖźÖ¸× ×Ö¸×Öˇ×˘Ö°×ŞÖźÖ´× â now. Now you have become a man who loves Hashem. Because it doesnât happen on its own; itâs by means of a personâs thoughts and words and actions that he becomes an oheiv Hashem.
And so weâre learning now that everyone can become an oheiv Hashem if they would make use of these three functions. You can do it bâmachshavah, by thoughts. Then you do it bâdibbur too â you say words of ahavas Hashem. And then you do it bâmaaseh too. Thatâs how you develop. Little by little, you keep on this way and you become something eventually. Of course, each one must do according to his abilities. It doesnât mean that youâre going to be like Avraham but whatever ahavas Hashem is developed properly, it becomes the very greatest of a man’s achievements, the crown of a man’s perfection.
Have A Wonderful Shabbos
This weekâs booklet is based on tapes: 98 – Loving Him | 612 – Those That Love Me | 675 – Learning to Love Hashem | 750 – Approach to Ahavas Hashem | 892 – Aspects of Rosh Hashanah | E-262 – World of Models | E-269 – I Love Your People
Letâs Get Practical
Three Ways To Love
Avraham Avinu reached the pinnacle of ahavas Hashem through a lifetime of climbing the ladder of Yiras Hashem, and by using the system of thought, speech and acts in order to bring that love from the potential into the actual.
This week I will bli neder walk in the footsteps of our first father and try to make use of these four ideals every day. One, to remind myself that He is real, He is here. Number two, to think a thought of ahavas Hashem. Number three, to say words of ahavas Hashem. And number four, to keep my eyes open for an opportunity to act out this love for Him.
Q:
How could Hakodosh Boruch Hu ask Avrohom Avinu to sacrifice his son, Yitzchok? Isnât that too extreme of a demand?
A:
I donât understand the question. Why not? What is a son? A son is a gift from Hashem. So how do you show your appreciation for such a wonderful gift? You had him for so many years, so now you take him and you bring him as an offering to Hashem. Whatâs wrong? I donât see the kasha. I donât understand the question.
You donât like the idea? Even Yitzchok himself was satisfied. He had lived many years. How do you show appreciation to Hashem? Youâre willing to give your son back to Him, if He asks. Letâs say I lend you my car, and youâre riding around in my car, enjoying yourself for a couple of days, and then I say, âMy friend, can you please give me back my car tomorrow?â So youâll say, âWhat do you mean, âGive back the car?! Iâm enjoying it to no end. I donât want to give it back.â â
Now, Hashem gave us life. Of course, we know that Hashem doesnât want any of us to be sacrificed, but in logic it certainly has a place. Of course it does. Only that Hashemâs logic is higher than our logic. But if we were Hashem, we would demand that people give their lives to us. Certainly we would. Donât think that youâre so good. Donât think you wouldnât demand it. Weâre lucky that Hakodosh Boruch Hu is in charge, not we. And therefore, Hakodosh Boruch Hu said, ×× ×Ş×Š×× ××× â âDonât stretch out your hand.â Donât sacrifice your son.
TAPE # 772 (March 1990)
Learning From Our Gedolim
Ari Holtzbacher was excited. Tonight his father was taking him to âFour Townsâ, the fanciest restaurant in town!
âYouâre really going there?!â Ariâs friend Shimmy told him. âStevey Risnik, my next door neighbor, said that his family goes there a lot and itâs the best food in the world!â
âWell, my parents, as a rule, donât take us out to eat in restaurants. But tonight he has an important business meeting with Joel E. Munz, the President of the Jolly Munz Candy Factory, and heâs taking me along so that he can have an excuse to not stay too late.â
Later that evening, Ari and his father arrived at Four Towns restaurant, but suddenly his father stopped before entering.
âWhy arenât we going in?â Ari asked.
Anshel Holtzbacher pointed at a sign on the wall of the building. There, printed in large letters was a statement from the Horki Beis Din saying that it was assur to eat at Four Towns restaurant.
âWhat, why?â asked Ari. âThe signs saying that it is kosher are still up.â
âItâs true. But if the Beis Din says we canât eat there, then we canât eat there. Iâve been hearing rumors about the Horki Rebbe putting his foot down to stop the immersion in gashmiyus thatâs happening nowadays. People are going to fancy restaurants and buying fancy cars and making fancy simchos and itâs not the way of the Am Yisroel. Besides for the waste of money, itâs training us to think too much about Olam Hazeh and forget about our real focus which is Olam Habo! Thatâs where the best pleasures will be; better than the most expensive and fanciest restaurants in the world.â
Just then, Ari looked up to see Shimmyâs neighbor Stevey Risnik and his father walking with their large dog towards the restaurant entrance.
âWait, Stevey!â called Ari. âThereâs a sign from the Horki Beis Din saying we canât eat there.â
Stevey looked at the sign and then at Ari. âMaybe you canât,â he snorted. âThe kosher sign is still up, so we can eat there,â and he walked with his father into the restaurant.
As Ari watched the Risniks walk into the restaurant, Joel E. Munz approached.
âHi Anshel, Ari!â he said in his loud booming voice. âWhat are you waiting for? Why arenât we going inside to eat?â
âIâm sorry Joel,â Ariâs father said gently. âBut we canât eat at this restaurant today.â
âWhy not?â asked Mr. Munz, confused. âThe sign says âkosherâ in big letters.â
âYes, but there is another sign over here from the rabbis of our community which forbids us from eating here.â
Mr. Munz peered at the English translation at the bottom of the sign from the Beis Din.
âI donât understand. This letter doesnât even say why you canât eat here. I mean, look – there are even people with Yarmulkes inside! Do you just listen to your rabbis, no matter what they say?â
âWe do,â smiled Mr. Holtzbacher. âTell me, have you ever heard the story of Lot and Sedom?â
âOh yes!â Mr. Munz said, nodding vigorously. âI remember that well from when I went to Hebrew school as a boy.â
âWell, if you pay attention to what the Torah says there, you will notice that Lot did not get saved until after he insisted strongly that the angels (whom he thought were men) stay as guests in his home. That is something Lot learned from his rabbi, Avraham Avinu. And only because of this loyalty to his rabbiâs teachings, Lot merited to be saved from Sedom.â
âAre you saying that fire is going to rain down on this restaurant?â asked Mr. Munz, looking up nervously at the sky.
âNo, Iâm not,â Mr. Holtzbacher said, smiling again. âBut we too are loyal to our rabbis, and will not eat at a place which they do not approve of.â
âFascinating,â said Mr. Munz, rubbing his chin.
Just then the door of the Four Towns restaurant was flung open and several people staggered out, holding their stomachs in pain.
âIt must be food poisoning!â Ari heard one of the people say.
Indeed, it did appear that many people in the restaurant, including the Risniks, seemed to have fallen sick due to the food they were eating.
After taking the scene in for a moment, Mr. Munz exclaimed! âWow! Hashem saved us from food poisoning, just like he saved Lot from Sedom! And all because we listened to your rabbi! Anshel, I would love to meet this rabbi of yours – do you think you could arrange that?â
âIt would be my pleasure,â Mr. Holtzbacher warmly replied. âIn the meantime though, why donât we head over to my house. My wifeâs food is at least as good as the food they serve here – and much healthier too!â
Takeaway: Just like Lot learned from his rebbe and was saved from Sedom, we too follow our rebbeim and our gedolim whether we understand it or not.
Letâs Review: Why is Ari going to a restaurant? What zechus protected Lot from the fate of his neighbors in Sedom?