Q:
If it’s true that Hashem gives yessurim to those He loves, so if we don’t have yessurim is that a sign that Hashem doesn’t love us?
A:
Good question. If we don’t have yessurim, does that mean Hashem does not love us?
So first of all, some of us accept the yessurim in such a manner that we don’t even feel it’s yessurim. That’s very great.
Let’s say you come home from work; it was a hard day in the office. As you open the door, your wife says, “Where have you been all day long?! I’m working so hard with the children. You have no interest in me? We should go someplace for vacation for the next three or four months.”
And you keep quiet. You don’t answer back.
Now, to somebody else that might be yessurim, but because you’re a good natured man and you’re willing to gain perfection too, that’s yessurim – only you accept it in such a way that you don’t even feel the yessurim; you get full credit for yessurim. No question about it.
You’re sitting in a dentist chair and he’s drilling away. Instead of you sitting there waiting for it to be over, you’re thinking, “I’m accepting this. Hashem, I thank You. It’s making me better and better.” Not only because you get a better filling in your teeth. “My character is being changed. I’m accepting it.” That’s greatness.
Now, many times you wouldn’t think about that. Any setback that occurs in life, that ordinarily makes some other people angry and dismayed, you take it in stride. You’re accepting yessurim. Only if you add the thought, “I’m willing to take, Hashem, what You’re giving me,” it’s even better.
Now if a person doesn’t get any yessurim in life at all—actually; not because he takes it in good stride—but actually nothing is happening to him, he has to be very much afraid. But I cannot believe this happens to anybody. For most people, yessurim are coming all the time. There’s always something.
And the Gemara says in Mesichta Eruchin, what’s considered yessurim? The Gemara says, you put your hand in your pocket to take out one coin and you take out the other coin. You have both coins in your pocket. You have to go through the very great trouble of putting your hand in the pocket again, that’s called yessurim.
What does that mean? It means you should have the good sense to say, “That’s yessurim. I thank You, Hashem.” As you’re standing there in the bus in front trying to dig out the other coin from your pocket and the passengers behind you want to get on and they’re pushing, “Mister, get out of the way”—you’re embarrassed—you say, “Hashem, I’m thanking You for this. It’s a good opportunity for me to get bigger and bigger. I appreciate that,” That’s also called yessurim.
Everybody has some yessurim in life. It’s very rare otherwise. And if somebody for a short period has no yessurim, then it’s going to come later thick and heavy to make up for the past time. No question about it. Many great millionaires finally came down with a crash that they became poorer than beggars. Again and again.
And so, our job is to be on the lookout for opportunities to utilize these yessurim, because usually they’re around. And we don’t have to wait for them to come with full force. Even the slightest form of yessurim, if we accept it willingly and say to Hashem, “We take it from You. We know it’s for our benefit,” then you’re going to get the full pleasure and benefit, the kedushah that comes from control of mind over your body.
January 1990
