Rav Avigdor Miller on Bungalow Marriages



Should a husband and wife separate in order to go to the country in the summer?


In general, a husband and wife should never separate. That’s the purpose of having a wife and having a husband. והיו לבשר אחד – And they will become one flesh (Bereishis 2:24). You don’t separate from your hands or from your feet. You have to realize that it’s one personality. It’s not just a team, it’s a personality. They must always be together.

Now, it doesn’t mean that when he goes to the synagogue that she has to be in the background. Or that when she’s going, let’s say, to the sewing club, that he should hang around and look on, no. Each has his or her separate interests, but in general, they’re together.

Sometimes, he has to go away on a trip for work; he can’t take her along, it can’t be helped. A woman, however, just to go off on a pleasure trip someplace without her husband, that’s not to be recommended at all. Unless she has to go for certain business that the husband cannot go along. Let’s say, she has to go for some purpose, she can’t remain behind. And he has to remain here because of his business, that’s something else. But just for the sake of pleasure to separate, that’s against the principles on which marriage is founded.
TAPE # 508 (June 1984)

Is it proper this bungalow style vacation where the wife sees her husband only on Shabbos?

And the answer is, if it’s a benefit for the children then it’s proper. Because עמלנו אלו הבנים – All of our work is our children. If the children in the bungalow can have a better environment than in the city, if they can have a very good rebbe, and very good chaveirim or chaveiros, then it’s worth it.

The only criterion is how much ruchniyus will the children gain. And on that basis this kind of arrangement is justified.
TAPE # 517 (August 1984)