Q:
Why must a married woman cover her head? Why is it so important?
A:
A married woman now has to know that she is for one man. That’s the only one who has to know she’s a woman. And therefore, the Ramban says on a sotah, when the sotah, a woman who was disloyal to her husband and she has to drink the mayim hamarim, so they undo her hair. And he said, because when hair is made up, hair is tidied up and made neat and beautiful, it’s because the wearer of the hair is a candidate for some experiences. Wearing fancy hair means you’re a candidate for certain activities.
So therefore, only your husband should know about your candidacy. And all others should see a substitute for hair. So a married woman has to make it her business to be beautiful and attractive just for one man in the world. That’s her function.
Of course she has a lot of things to do in this world. She doesn’t have to be only beautiful for her husband. She has to be beautiful to Hakodosh Boruch Hu too. Of course that’s the main achievement of a person. But still physical beauty is to be displayed only to a husband. And that’s why her hair has to be covered up.
Now girls are permitted to uncover their hair because girls have to advertise that they are available. They don’t have one man yet. But as soon as the one man comes and says, “הרי את מקודשת,” and there’s a chuppah, so she covers up because it’s all over. Romance as far as other people are concerned is all over.
And any woman who is interested in displaying her charms to others, is still hoping for some more romances. And to us, that’s treif like chazir. It’s tamei. טומאה כתיב בה כעריות. To us, it’s filthy. If a married woman is interested in being attractive to men, to us it’s plain dirty.
And that’s why we can consider it important for a married woman to cover up. Of course she can be respectable, she can be well dressed, all that is alright. But she shouldn’t make it her business to be attractive to others.
(Jan 1979)
