Q:
Should a yeshiva bachur wear his hat while eating in the yeshiva dining room?
A:
This depends on the minhag hamedinah.
I want to explain something. My shver, zichrono livracha, never ate without a hat in his house. Always with a hat. Lunch, breakfast, whatever, supper, always with a hat. Because he was a Slabodka talmid and he learned the dignity of being a Jew. A Jew is like a Kohen Gadol.
And it says וְעָשִׂיתָ בִגְדֵי קֹדֶשׁ לְאַֽהֲרֹן אָחִיךָ לְכָבוֹד וּלְתִפְאָֽרֶת. Aharon must be dressed with honor and with beauty. And so a Jew is a Kohen Gadol. And the table is not a feeding trough where horses are led to feed on oats. A table is a mizbeyach and it’s a place of avodas Hashem. That’s how Jews who learn Torah understand that.
When you approach a table, there is salt on the table. על כל קרבנך תקריב מלח – On all your offerings there should be salt (Vayikra 2:13) . Even though you don’t like salt, put a little bit of salt. Dip your bread three times in salt. One, two, three; just to show that you’re doing it for a purpose, not just for taste. One, two, three. That’s a korban to Hashem.
And also, not a bad idea you should think, like it says in Shulchan Aruch, in Orach Chaim (231:1), שכל כוונותיו יהיו לשם שמים – you should think, “I’m eating now this meal to serve you Hashem.” Isn’t that a beautiful way to eat? It won’t detract from your gusto, from your appetite. You can eat with appetite. You can relish your food, but say it beforehand with this thought in mind, “I’m approaching the table to serve You, Hashem. I want to get the strength in order to fulfill Your commandments.”
And also, when you approach the table, you realize that Hakodosh Boruch Hu is your host and you’re only a little orphaned boy or orphaned girl who is being fed at Hashem’s table. תערוך לפני שולחן – You set the table before me, Hashem (Tehillim 23:5). And therefore when you approach the table, you approach it with the greatest derech eretz.
A man once told me he had an old European mother. When he was a little boy, he used to climb around and sometimes he would sit on the table. And his mother would drive him off the table. “A Yiddishe tish is kodosh! A Jewish table is holy,” she said. A European mother. “You can’t sit on the table!” You hear that? She drove him off the table. He became a professor later in life; a very cultured, successful man. He never forgot his mother’s teaching, “You can’t sit on a table.” A Jewish table is kadosh.
And so when you approach the table to eat in the yeshiva dining room, if you want to wear a hat with this kavanah, because you’re serving Hakodosh Boruch Hu—just like you wear a hat in Shemoneh Esrei. You shouldn’t stand Shemoneh Esrei with just a yarmulkeh; a yarmulkeh is too informal. You’re standing before a King. If you have no hat, well, it can’t be helped. If you have a hat, it’s better to wear a hat.
However, I said this with a modification at the beginning. If nobody wears a hat in your dining room, so maybe you shouldn’t be different from the minhag. But if you have a choice, it always is a sign of nobility when you approach a Jewish table with a head covering.
Even in the hottest weather, my father-in-law, alav hashalom, never took off his jacket at the table. He sat with a jacket and a hat at the table always. It was a principle. He learned from Slabodka, you have to be a man who exemplifies the teachings of the Torah. Be dignified. A Jew has to be dignified. בנים אתם לה’ אלקיכם – ‘You are My children,” says Hashem. לא תתגודדו – You shouldn’t cut yourself, ולא תשימו קרחה בין עיניכם למת – and you shouldn’t pluck out your hair. You shouldn’t pluck out your hair because of a dead body, chalilah. In mourning you shouldn’t pluck your hair.
So Rashi brings, “You’re My children, וצריכים אתם להיות נאים – and so you have to be beautiful at all times; even not at the table, ולא גדודים ומקורחים – You can’t have gashes and bald patches. A Jew must look dignified. A Jew must be well dressed and dignified. And therefore, there is something in the principle of approaching the table wearing a hat.
(February 1989)
