Q:
Since it’s a father’s job to discipline his son, to tell him when he’s doing something wrong, so how can I discipline him but also give encouragement at the same time?
A:
How can a father discipline his son and at the same time give encouragement?
So rather than continually knock your son and say, “You’re no good,” “You’re rotten,” “You good for nothing,” it’s better if you give him one smack. If you see he’s not doing his homework or he doesn’t go to the yeshivah or if he was lazy to do his duty, you can force him to do it. Sometimes one smack is the right discipline. Whatever it is, but not to call him names. Leave that out. You can force him to do what he has to do. Forcing is not bad, but to give him names, to convince him that he is a failure, to convince him that he’s a low character, is one of the worst things you could do.
And when he does a little bit, make it better than it is and let him feel that there’s an incentive to do good. He’ll know that there’s kavod. Sometimes it’s worth giving little prizes. Sometimes by little prizes you can accomplish very much.
January 1977
