Rav Avigdor Miller on Greatness from Silence

It’s like a man going to the doctor saying, “I’m suffering from many things.  What should I start working on first?”

So the doctor says, “Let’s hear.  I must know what you’re suffering from, then I’ll tell you what’s most important to work on.”

And therefore, go to somebody who’s capable.  You have plenty of wise men today in this world.  The Jewish nation is not bereft of teachers.  Everywhere there are people who are competent. And so go speak to them and ask them what you should work on first.

Now, I would say something that’s easy and applies to everybody: You should work on the quality of guarding your tongue; not to talk over much.  There’s a kedushah in restraining yourself from talking. There’s a desire to open your mouth and to babble.  But when a person learns the wisdom of cutting short or not saying what he wants to say—smother that wisecrack; don’t say it at all—it’s a greatness of the neshama that makes you perfect in your heart.

Not only you learn self control.  It’s a kedushah.  Like the nazir who refrains from wine, you refrain from talking.  And in case you don’t know what to do, then you could work on that.

Of course when you come home at night from the yeshiva, you should say to your mother, “Hello. Good evening,” or something.  Don’t say, “I’m working on this, what I heard and I’ll keep quiet. I won’t say anything.”  No.  You must answer.  Greet your mother. Your mother greets you, you have to answer.

But otherwise, when you’re in the company of your friends and everybody is opening his mouth and he’s shooting off his jaw, you keep quiet and just listen and know there are better things than talking.  Greatness of character is more important.

And you’re obeying what the Gra says that you’re in this world to break your nature; you’re breaking the desire to talk.  How wonderful it is to restrain yourself! And therefore you gain many things when you work on silence.

Now as I said before, it depends on circumstances.  Sometimes silence is not too good, but in most cases you won’t go wrong by trying to limit the amount of words you issue from your mouth.

January 1990