Rav Avigdor Miller on How To Marry A Kollel Man



Should a woman marry a man who learns in the kollel and has no parnasa?


And the answer is, she has to find out two things; first of all, is he a learner? If he loafs in the kollel – which a lot do – if the kollel is just a bais manos to escape the responsibilities of life, then forget about it. He is just a drifter. To sit in a kollel and chalom all day is no good. But if he’s a man who insists that he sincerely wants to learn; if he’s pursuing Torah and he might become a gadol too, certainly. If she is an idealist and she is willing to work all her life, certainly!

However, if she doesn’t want to work all her life – and many don’t want to work all their lives; it is not an easy choice to make – so she can’t marry a kollel man.

So two things I am answering. First of all if he is a genuine kollel man that’s one thing; but if he is an imitation kollel man, let her forget about him.

And secondly, if he is a real kollel man then she has to make up her mind, how much is she willing to sacrifice? Is she willing to wait ten years and then he should go out and work? Or is she willing to work all her life? That’s a big decision and it is up to her to decide before their marriage; she shouldn’t deceive him.

TAPE  # 405