Q:
The Rav always speaks about how a woman should look good and dress up for her husband. What about the husband’s duties for his wife? Does he have to dress the same way?
A:
Question: Does a husband have a responsibility to make a favorable impression on his wife?
Yes.
But there’s no question that the wife’s responsibility is much bigger. Much bigger. And that’s self understood. It doesn’t need any commentaries.
Of course a husband must make himself acceptable. And it’s a responsibility on him. The Gemara says if a woman comes before a beis din and says, “מאוס עלי – I can’t stand this man. He’s disgusting to me,” so the beis din takes it into account. Ma’us olai is a taanah, a claim. So therefore he shouldn’t be ma’us.
However it’s of the utmost importance for a woman at all times to be attractive to her husband. That’s one of the most important forms of the marriage bond. Because a man is not married to a man, he’s married to a woman; and therefore she has to emphasize her womanliness in the role of marriage.
Now I won’t go into details, but that’s a self understood axiom. And therefore, although everybody should make himself acceptable – not only husbands and wives – but the wives most of all must feel that obligation at all times and never be negligent; a husband to a certain extent, and to a certain extent everyone, must make himself acceptable to his fellowman.
December 1988
