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Q:

Is it possible for a young man and a young lady to be friends, but only friends?

A:

And the answer is you have to know that that’s one of the most unrealistic things in the world.  Men and women have an attraction that’s made by nature, by Hakodosh Boruch Hu.  And it’s necessary at all times to be on guard against that.  And there cannot be any kind of affinity, of friendship; not even by telephone or by writing.  No connection unless she is going to be the girl that you intend to marry.

Otherwise you’re deceiving yourself.  There’s no such thing as a platonic friendship.  It’s only an invention of crooks, of people who want to deceive themselves.  Every instance of that kind ends up in a plain case of giluy arayos and that’s all there is to it.  There’s no such thing.

Even if you’re going to learn with a girl Mesilas Yesharim together b’chavrusa, you should know you’re headed together to Gehenom.

TAPE # 414

Rav Avigdor Miller on Platonic Friendships

print

Q:

Is it possible for a young man and a young lady to be friends, but only friends?

A:

And the answer is you have to know that that’s one of the most unrealistic things in the world.  Men and women have an attraction that’s made by nature, by Hakodosh Boruch Hu.  And it’s necessary at all times to be on guard against that.  And there cannot be any kind of affinity, of friendship; not even by telephone or by writing.  No connection unless she is going to be the girl that you intend to marry.

Otherwise you’re deceiving yourself.  There’s no such thing as a platonic friendship.  It’s only an invention of crooks, of people who want to deceive themselves.  Every instance of that kind ends up in a plain case of giluy arayos and that’s all there is to it.  There’s no such thing.

Even if you’re going to learn with a girl Mesilas Yesharim together b’chavrusa, you should know you’re headed together to Gehenom.

TAPE # 414

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