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Q:

If Hashem made the world tov me’od, so why did He permit a man to marry two women when it naturally causes rivalry?

A:

That’s a real question from a woman.

And the answer is, we have to reconsider the cherem Rabbeinu Gershom. We take it as an axiom, that’s how it should be, one wife.

Why should it be one wife? You know a lot of women have difficulty getting married. A lot of women would be happy if somebody would take them in as a second wife. In the good old days a charitable man used to marry other women who needed a protector. He already had four, but he took in another one. He crowded her in because she needed a place to be. She needed a husband to protect her. And it was a very big benevolence. Why not?

It’s only because we were in Europe and we saw that things happened—sometimes because of rivalry a wife could go, let’s say, away to the priest and say, “Look, I’m suffering from my husband and maybe I’ll take revenge on him and you’ll take me into the church.” And so they had to protect the Jewish people.

But it could be, it could be, that someday it’ll be rescinded. I can’t tell you that, I’m not a navi, but there’s something in it. Marrying more than one wife has a lot of benefits.

Here’s a woman who is having a lot of trouble raising her children. The rivals used to help each other raise their children. One used to babysit—her fourteen and my fourteen—when the other one went out to help in the farm, in the fields. So it’s a big help to have the assistance of another woman in the house.

And you say, what about the rivalry and the hatred between them? Look; that’s a subconscious thing. Isn’t there rivalry between women and their mothers-in-law? So we should abolish mothers-in-law?

The answer is, you have to make up your mind to get along. And so you have to make up your mind to get along with a rival wife because in many cases the benefits outnumber the disadvantages.

However, don’t quote me as a proponent of polygamy. I’m merely saying that it’s not such a bad thing that you should blame the Creator for making it.

June 12, 1980

Rav Avigdor Miller on Possible Benefits of Polygamy

print

Q:

If Hashem made the world tov me’od, so why did He permit a man to marry two women when it naturally causes rivalry?

A:

That’s a real question from a woman.

And the answer is, we have to reconsider the cherem Rabbeinu Gershom. We take it as an axiom, that’s how it should be, one wife.

Why should it be one wife? You know a lot of women have difficulty getting married. A lot of women would be happy if somebody would take them in as a second wife. In the good old days a charitable man used to marry other women who needed a protector. He already had four, but he took in another one. He crowded her in because she needed a place to be. She needed a husband to protect her. And it was a very big benevolence. Why not?

It’s only because we were in Europe and we saw that things happened—sometimes because of rivalry a wife could go, let’s say, away to the priest and say, “Look, I’m suffering from my husband and maybe I’ll take revenge on him and you’ll take me into the church.” And so they had to protect the Jewish people.

But it could be, it could be, that someday it’ll be rescinded. I can’t tell you that, I’m not a navi, but there’s something in it. Marrying more than one wife has a lot of benefits.

Here’s a woman who is having a lot of trouble raising her children. The rivals used to help each other raise their children. One used to babysit—her fourteen and my fourteen—when the other one went out to help in the farm, in the fields. So it’s a big help to have the assistance of another woman in the house.

And you say, what about the rivalry and the hatred between them? Look; that’s a subconscious thing. Isn’t there rivalry between women and their mothers-in-law? So we should abolish mothers-in-law?

The answer is, you have to make up your mind to get along. And so you have to make up your mind to get along with a rival wife because in many cases the benefits outnumber the disadvantages.

However, don’t quote me as a proponent of polygamy. I’m merely saying that it’s not such a bad thing that you should blame the Creator for making it.

June 12, 1980

print

Q:

If Hashem made the world tov me’od, so why did He permit a man to marry two women when it naturally causes rivalry?

A:

That’s a real question from a woman.

And the answer is, we have to reconsider the cherem Rabbeinu Gershom. We take it as an axiom, that’s how it should be, one wife.

Why should it be one wife? You know a lot of women have difficulty getting married. A lot of women would be happy if somebody would take them in as a second wife. In the good old days a charitable man used to marry other women who needed a protector. He already had four, but he took in another one. He crowded her in because she needed a place to be. She needed a husband to protect her. And it was a very big benevolence. Why not?

It’s only because we were in Europe and we saw that things happened—sometimes because of rivalry a wife could go, let’s say, away to the priest and say, “Look, I’m suffering from my husband and maybe I’ll take revenge on him and you’ll take me into the church.” And so they had to protect the Jewish people.

But it could be, it could be, that someday it’ll be rescinded. I can’t tell you that, I’m not a navi, but there’s something in it. Marrying more than one wife has a lot of benefits.

Here’s a woman who is having a lot of trouble raising her children. The rivals used to help each other raise their children. One used to babysit—her fourteen and my fourteen—when the other one went out to help in the farm, in the fields. So it’s a big help to have the assistance of another woman in the house.

And you say, what about the rivalry and the hatred between them? Look; that’s a subconscious thing. Isn’t there rivalry between women and their mothers-in-law? So we should abolish mothers-in-law?

The answer is, you have to make up your mind to get along. And so you have to make up your mind to get along with a rival wife because in many cases the benefits outnumber the disadvantages.

However, don’t quote me as a proponent of polygamy. I’m merely saying that it’s not such a bad thing that you should blame the Creator for making it.

June 12, 1980

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print

Q:

If Hashem made the world tov me’od, so why did He permit a man to marry two women when it naturally causes rivalry?

A:

That’s a real question from a woman.

And the answer is, we have to reconsider the cherem Rabbeinu Gershom. We take it as an axiom, that’s how it should be, one wife.

Why should it be one wife? You know a lot of women have difficulty getting married. A lot of women would be happy if somebody would take them in as a second wife. In the good old days a charitable man used to marry other women who needed a protector. He already had four, but he took in another one. He crowded her in because she needed a place to be. She needed a husband to protect her. And it was a very big benevolence. Why not?

It’s only because we were in Europe and we saw that things happened—sometimes because of rivalry a wife could go, let’s say, away to the priest and say, “Look, I’m suffering from my husband and maybe I’ll take revenge on him and you’ll take me into the church.” And so they had to protect the Jewish people.

But it could be, it could be, that someday it’ll be rescinded. I can’t tell you that, I’m not a navi, but there’s something in it. Marrying more than one wife has a lot of benefits.

Here’s a woman who is having a lot of trouble raising her children. The rivals used to help each other raise their children. One used to babysit—her fourteen and my fourteen—when the other one went out to help in the farm, in the fields. So it’s a big help to have the assistance of another woman in the house.

And you say, what about the rivalry and the hatred between them? Look; that’s a subconscious thing. Isn’t there rivalry between women and their mothers-in-law? So we should abolish mothers-in-law?

The answer is, you have to make up your mind to get along. And so you have to make up your mind to get along with a rival wife because in many cases the benefits outnumber the disadvantages.

However, don’t quote me as a proponent of polygamy. I’m merely saying that it’s not such a bad thing that you should blame the Creator for making it.

June 12, 1980

THE GEDOLEI YISROEL HAVE WARNED US ABOUT THE DANGERS OF THE INTERNET. ALL THOSE WHO USE IT SHOULD ONLY DO SO WITH AN APPROVED TAG FILTER IN PLACE.