How much emphasis should I put on yichus when choosing a shidduch?
It depends; if it’s yichus that she comes, let’s say, from Dovid Hamelech, then forget about it. But if it’s yichus that she comes from good parents, her father is a talmid chochom, a decent man, and her mother is a quiet decent woman, then that’s the best yichus there is.
Now, if you have two girls who are exactly the same, and one claims yichus from Dovid Hamelech, so you can choose the one from Dovid Hamelech – if they’re both the same. But the best yichus is a good upbringing and good chinuch. If the girl went to a good Bais Yaakov school, a frum school – not a modern school – that’s a very good yichus. If the girl is quiet – by the way, you should look for a quiet girl, not for a lively vivacious girl. And the girls who are lively should act as if they’re not, so that he shouldn’t know that you are so lively. But don’t get a lively girl. That’s a yichus! The best yichus you can find is good character and good upbringing.
TAPE # E-94 (January 1997)