Q:
How can we understand that Yaakov selected Yosef as his favorite son and actually showed favoritism when it ended up causing baseless hatred for Yosef from his brothers?
A:
How did Yaakov make such a fatal step of showing favoritism to Yosef?
And the answer is Yosef was entirely deserving of the favoritism. Because when Yosef demonstrated his concern for the ideals of his family by supervising the activities of the brothers and bringing the reports to the father—any accusations or complaints—so Yaakov saw that this was a man who carried the responsibility of the nation on his shoulders. Yosef didn’t say, “It’s none of my business.” He was concerned. And even small things, small blemishes, he reported to their father in order to make sure that that family remained perfect.
Now, when Yaakov saw that Yosef was born for the leadership—the true leadership is a man who is interested in preserving the ideals of our family and our nation—so he gave him a garment of authority: ועשה לו כתנת פסים – He gave him a varied colored coat, a coat of royalty, to show that he’s a leader.
And he wanted thereby to arouse competition among the brothers. קנאת סופרים תרבה חכמה – envy for good things causes wisdom to flourish; it causes virtue to flourish. Don’t teachers, l’havdil, in the classes give prizes to children who excel in learning because they want others to be envious and to try to outdo this one. And that was Yaakov Avinu’s motivation.
However, the fact that it backfired is a lesson for us, and the Gemara (Shabbos 10b) says therefore, we learn, never give a gift to any of your children unless you give it to all of them. This lesson we have to learn.
So you people who are young and don’t have children yet and those who will have or do have children, don’t give any gifts to your children unless everybody gets the same.
Now, if one child happens to need a bigger gift, so tell him to keep his mouth closed. Make him solemnly promise not to tell because it will cause the greatest trouble. Don’t think that other children don’t care. The Gemara (ibid.) says לעולם אל ישנה אדם בנו בין הבנים – never show a preference for one child among the other children. When you give gifts, don’t give any gift or give everybody.
And the Gemara says because of that we went into exile. We went down to Egypt because of that. And therefore we have to learn that lesson.
But Yaakov didn’t have a chumash yet.
We however do have a chumash and so it’s our job to study the chumash and to benefit by the lessons.
(December 1976)
