Q:
What are some main points in making your wife happy?
A:
One main point is always appreciate what your wife does and say it with your mouth. When your wife puts breakfast on the table, say, “Thank you.” It costs money? Say it! When your wife puts supper on the table, say thank you. And also say, “It tastes good.” Even if it doesn’t. Very important!
You have to encourage people. You realize what a big part encouragement has in maintaining achievement? Never say anything discouraging. Never say anything that’ll cause weakness of spirit, of complaining. And therefore, words are the easiest and the cheapest way of making your partner happy.
Now the same advice goes for women too. Women should ask, “How can I make my husband happy?” There are various ways, but the easiest way is a few words, kindly words of encouragement. Appreciation.
What happens, however? Just the opposite. Very many words of onaas devorim are being said constantly, words of hurting each other’s feelings. And we have to know how great is the chet of hurting people with words. גדולה אונאת דברים מאונאת ממון – hurting people with words is worse than taking away their money. Much worse. Much worse.
And people know about loshon hora. I know a woman who goes to loshon hora lectures all the time, seminars on loshon hora, then she comes back home and she attacks her husband with her sharp tongue. That’s loshon hora too! A bad tongue is loshon hora. Hurting the feelings.
And there are many other ways that people can make each other happy, but one of the most important and readily available ones is what you just heard, with words. And words can play a very big role, not only in making other people happy, – in making yourself successful in the world. You can get people to like you and you’ll become popular if you’ll know how to use words in the right way.
(January 1990)
