Q:
How can a father gain the favor of his family?
A:
First of all, by not talking much. That’s number one. Talking is the way of ruining your good reputation.
If people see your face, your face is tzelem Elokim. They respect your face. But when you open your mouth to bray, you do yourself betray. Because they see that it’s not like your face; now they see that there’s a donkey hiding inside that face.
And so, it’s very important not to talk. Not to talk. People who give you credit looking at your face, give you credit for wisdom: “Oh, that’s a smart fellow over there.” But as soon as he opens his mouth, he gives himself away.
That’s number one. There are many other ways, but let’s practice the first way, you’ll see how effective it is.
Q:
Can you mention some of the other ways?
A:
He’s pressing me so I won’t refuse. Among the ways of gaining favor with your family are the ways of gaining favor with anybody else and one is sever ponim yafos – have a pleasant cast of countenance. Don’t come in with a sour face. Come in from the yeshiva, from the kollel, come in from your place of work, not like a sourpuss. Before you enter, you take hold of the door knob and stop for a minute and take off the face that you had before and put on a mask, a pleasant face. Put on a smiling mask and walk in with a pleasant face. And don’t talk. Say, “Good evening. How’s everything?” You can say, “Vos macht men?” That’s all. Keep quiet.
On Purim, sometimes a person puts on a mask and he looks very good; he looks more beautiful than he really is. So let’s make it Purim always. Put on a mask, a nice mask on your face. That’s another way.
However, there are many more things to do. Another way is to bring in money all the time when you work. Make sure you earn enough money! If you don’t bring money home, there’s trouble in the house.
September 1995
