Q:
Should one continue to learn even though it means that his children will be most of the day with a babysitter?
A:
It depends. It depends who the babysitter is. It depends also how long you intend to do it. This I couldn’t tell you, I’m not able to solve that problem.
I believe in general in the mode of life where the husband works eventually and supports his wife. This style that so many have adopted, that they’re going to learn all their lives and their wives will work all their lives, I’m mefakpek if that’s the right way.
If the women could work at home, that’s something else. But they have to go out and mix in offices with men; I don’t know it’s a good thing. Even though they’re kosher women.
I want to tell you something. The world is made of human instincts. A woman who works in an office with men, she has an aveirah. A woman who goes in an office where there are men, she has an aveirah. She doesn’t know what’s she’s doing to those men.
“What am I doing?” she says, “I’m dressed b’tzniyus.” No. She’s bending over to open a file cabinet. As she bends over, a tzaddik happens to see her by accident. He’ll never forget that picture. It’s lodged in his mind. It’s no good. It’s very unhealthy. I don’t believe women should work where there are men. No.
And so, it’s a very big shaileh if women should continue to work long.
What should you do? There are plenty of parnassas in the world. You can find something, an honest living.
By the way, when I see a judge, a frum Jew, I’m mechabed him very much. Why not? It’s a parnassah. Anybody who does parnassah deserves credit. He’s supporting a frum family and he’s making a living. He’s neheneh b’yegias kapov. יגיעת כפיך כי תאכל אשריך וטוב לך אשריך בעולם הזה וטוב לך לעולם הבא. I admire people who do work.
Now people who don’t work, it’s a little bit of a ch’shad that they don’t want to work. Now of course I don’t want to be choshed b’ksheirim for nothing, but there is a ch’shad they’re trying to dodge work.
And therefore, the question I won’t answer. Each individual case has to be solved separately.
January 1997
