The Rav has said that a yeshiva bochur should not marry a “career girl.” What’s the reason for this?


A career girl is not the best shidduch. Let me explain. If a girl tries to learn some sort of umnis, some sort of profession, in order to support a ben-Torah and in order to help support the family, then yes. That’s not a career girl. That’s a girl looking for the zchus of having a husband who will devote himself to learning. I’m not saying right now how long he should learn, but whatever it is, it’s surely a meritorious thing.

But if a girl is interested in a career for herself, if her career is what’s important to her, then you have to know that there is always a probability that she’s going to be a very self-assertive type of girl – a girl who thinks she’s very important. And too much of that type of thinking, of feeling overly important, nobody should have. Not even a man.

And therefore, I know from experience, that career girls are not very good matches. But if a girl tries to learn some sort of umnis for the purpose of supporting a ben-Torah or to help support the family, that’s not a career girl.

TAPE # E-209 (January 2000)

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