What are the dangers of a girl going off to college?
If it’s a dormitory college then you don’t need me to tell you the dangers. She might as well look for a job in a house of prostitution because a house of prostitution at least pays a salary. And it’s not a joke at all – I’m completely serious. A dormitory college is for girls nothing but a house of ill fame. It’s not a mashal, it’s not merely a comparison – that’s exactly what it is. Don’t deceive yourself.
If a girl has to go to college – and I don’t know why she has to go because a girl should be planning for marriage – but she shouldn’t go to an out-of-town college. She shouldn’t go to a college where she has to be away from home. She must come home every day and she must be under supervision constantly. Every girl.
I’ll tell you a remarkable thing. You won’t agree with me, but I’ll tell it to you anyhow. In the letter of the Vilna Gaon that he wrote to his family when he was going to Eretz Yisrael – he never made it, but when he left and was on his way he wrote a letter of instructions to his family. And he said there that his daughters they shouldn’t chas v’shalom walk out of the door of the house. Now, he didn’t say that to his wife. To his wife he said, “Don’t go shopping. If you have to go to the grocery, send somebody. And even though you might have to pay four times as much,” he said, “better to send somebody. You might have to send somebody else, a boy, a child, and you’ll pay four times as much because of that, but it’s worth it. Because when you come to the store, so you’ll meet others and you’ll exchange gossip and that’s the very worst thing you could do, lashon hara.” For his wife he didn’t tell her not to go at all, only not to the store where people congregate, but the daughters he said chas v’shalom they should go out mei’pesach habayis.
Now that was in the Gra’s times when the streets were kosher. The Jewish streets were innocent. And still a girl had to be watched. A girl has to watch herself too! And while we’re on the subject, neither boys nor girls should be allowed at night at all outside. Never should boys or girls be out night. It’s out of the question. Especially nowadays.
Now, on the general question of girls going to college and becoming a career girl, a girl dedicated to a career, you have to know that it’s going to be a big conflict with her chosen career as being a mother and a wife. Because she’ll be ambitious. She’ll want to practice whatever she studied. She’ll want to use her degree and that’s going to take her mind off of her real function in life. And therefore as I said here many times, any young man who is looking for a mate, the choicest one is somebody who never went to college. Sometimes there are good ones who went to college and then they regretted it but ordinarily it’s going to be a big barrier to happiness and success in life.
TAPE # 463 (June 1983)