Q:
What should a wife do if she has some complaints against her husband?
A:
The first thing she should do is write them down on a slip of paper. And then she should take the paper and tear it up. Because in most cases the complaints are not valid. And the same is for a husband who has complaints. In most cases it’s a transgression against the principle of being שמח בחלקו, of being happy with your portion in life. If you’re fortunate enough to be married, then you should appreciate it.
It’s a tragedy of tragedies when people look back after they get divorced and they try to justify their bad behavior to each other. He says she was no good and she says he was no good. And really, the truth is that it was a lack of שמח בחלקו.
When you get married make up your mind that you will get the most happiness out of married life that you can get. Now, ‘most happiness’ doesn’t mean traveling or doing things. Just being married; that’s what we’re talking about here! Appreciating the fact that you have a husband. Of course, he has to be a man who works. If he’s a loafer you shouldn’t have married him. But if he’s a man who works and she’s a housewife who’s willing to do her duties, then you should be very happy in your choice.
Here’s a man who is married and he’s constantly calling me up, asking me; he wants to reconsider – “Did I do right?” he asks me. What’s wrong with his wife? Nothing. Nothing at all! But he’s always thinking maybe he could have gotten better. Now, that man is living a very sinful type of life. He should be spending his time considering how fortunate he is! His wife is normal! You know, it happens sometimes that a man marries a woman and then he finds out subsequently that she has a serious illness. I know a man who married, and later he discovered she was an epileptic. Now you can live with an epileptic but he would have been better without an epileptic.
So if your wife is not epileptic, if your wife is not insane, and she functions, then you are a happy man. If she does housework you should be happy. And if your husband goes out to work, if he functions, then it’s a great happiness for a wife. And any complaints, from this one or that one, is nothing but a lack of appreciation – it means that you’re lacking in the middah of שמח בחלקו.
TAPE # 517
