Q:
How do you know if the boy that you’re dating has good middos?
A:
You know, when people ask me about a certain bochur, I say, “This bochur is learning well.” What about his middos? I say, “I’m sorry; I cannot tell you because to me everybody behaves – everybody behaves politely to me.” They’re afraid of me. When I was in the yeshivah, everybody was polite. So I can’t tell you about middos. Middos I cannot tell you.
So you have to try your best; you have to inquire but it’s a very big problem. So ask Hakodosh Boruch Hu to help you succeed in getting a good ba’al middos. Ask Hashem to guide you to the right one. It’s very difficult for somebody to speak about other peoples’ middos.
Once a big rosh yeshivah called me up. I said, “I cannot give you any information at all. I don’t know his character.” He was somewhat hurt that I couldn’t tell him anything, but I wasn’t able to tell him. How could I tell him somebody’s character? I don’t know his character.
TAPE # E-120
