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Q: 

How do you know if the boy that you’re dating has good middos?

A:

You know, when people ask me about a certain bochur, I say, “This bochur is learning well.” What about his middos?  I say, “I’m sorry; I cannot tell you because to me everybody behaves – everybody behaves politely to me.” They’re afraid of me.  When I was in the yeshivah, everybody was polite.  So I can’t tell you about middos.  Middos I cannot tell you.

So you have to try your best; you have to inquire but it’s a very big problem.  So ask Hakodosh Boruch Hu to help you succeed in getting a good ba’al middos. Ask Hashem to guide you to the right one.  It’s very difficult for somebody to speak about other peoples’ middos. 

Once a big rosh yeshivah called me up.  I said, “I cannot give you any information at all. I don’t know his character.”  He was somewhat hurt that I couldn’t tell him anything, but I wasn’t able to tell him.  How could I tell him somebody’s character?  I don’t know his character.  

TAPE # E-120

By |2023-07-15T00:26:55+08:00July 17, 2020|Q & A|0 Comments

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