Rav Avigdor Miller on Dealing With Non Religious Relatives

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Q: 

How should I deal with my brother who has not assumed the practices of a Jew?

A:

As much as possible avoid his company because you cannot save a drowning man unless you’re an expert swimmer yourself.  He’ll pull you down.  Everybody has to struggle to maintain his idealism and therefore הרחק משכן רע! Keep away from bad company all you can.  

However, send your brother notes.  Don’t invite him to come to you but you can send him little presents. Even send him Orthodox literature. You can even send him the Jewish Press.  Get a subscription for him so that every week he’ll read about kosher restaurants and kosher hotels; he’ll read about shmiras Shabbos too. It might do him some good.  And that’s one way of helping your brother while keeping him at arm’s length.

You have to know that to have your brother visit you, especially if you have a family, is going to be harmful in the results.  His mannerisms are going to be impressed upon your children’s minds.  You don’t want that in your family.  You’re building a new Beis Hamikdosh of your own and you won’t allow any zar to come in and profane your Sanctuary.

And not only a brother.  Even a father and a mother.  As much as possible keep them out of your house – but always try to keep them happy by sending them small presents constantly and even calling them up; but not by inviting them to come.  And send them literature or other materials that might cause them to reconsider.

TAPE # 596

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