At the end of the fourth part of the Shaarei Teshuva, Rabeinu Yonah brings a possuk, בחסד ואמת יכופר עוון and he explains there that by doing acts of kindliness or by learning Torah even a sin as terrible as chillul Hashem will be forgiven. I’m wondering what happens to that Torah that gave you a kaparah? Does it go lost forever? Let’s say you learned a hundred hours of Torah and now that cancels out a chillul Hashem that you caused. Is that hundred hours lost forever? Or do you still have it to your credit in the Next World?
If Torah is being utilized by Hakodosh Boruch Hu as a kaparah for some sin that a person did, does it mean that the merit of Torah is wiped off and is lost from him because that merit was expended already?
The answer is no. Because Torah is not merely the mitzvah of the Torah; Torah is the state of mind. When a person has Torah in his mind it will remain there forever – as long as he continues to review it remains a part of his personality. And therefore, even though he utilizes the Torah for Hashem to forgive his sins, the Torah is still in his mind and that man is still a ben Torah. He has a Torah mind, a Torah personality, and that means he’s a ben Torah. And a ben Torah after all, is what Hakodosh Boruch wants us to be. And therefore, the fact that Torah is mechaper on certain things, that will not deduct from his madreigah as a ben Torah, a person whose mind is filled with Torah ideals.
TAPE # E-139