Rav Avigdor Miller on Finding a Good Shidduch

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Q:
How should one go about finding a good shidduch?

A:
Go to shadchanim. And don’t be lazy about it.
But that’s not the only thing. In addition to that, you must ask Hakodosh Boruch Hu constantly. Not in Shemonah Esrei alone. No, not only in Shemonah Esrei. All day long you should be asking Him. Say, “Ribono Shel Olam. Send me a good shidduch.” Ask, ask and ask. Because Hakodosh Boruch Hu is the best shadchan. So, Hakodosh Boruch Hu will say, “What are you doing about it?!” “Karov Hashem li’chol kor’uv, li’chol asher yik’ro’uhu be’emes.” Calling out in truth to Hashem means that you’re doing something about it. “Are you doing something about it? Are your going to shadchanim? Oh, you are. Ok, so I’ll help you out.” And all of a sudden a shidduch comes to you from behind your back – not from a shadchan. And it’s a good shidduch! From the best shadchan.

It happened to me that way. One of my children. I was sending to shadchanim everywhere. But nothing. Nothing was happening. I wanted a shidduch for my daughter but nobody was answering. Nothing. All of a sudden, a shidduch comes up from an unexpected corner. A beautiful shidduch! A Rosh Yeshiva calls me up himself and offers me one of his best boys. I was afraid he was going to ask me for money. A tremendous amount of money! He called me up another time after they were married about something else. And when my wife heard he was on the phone she was afraid that he was going to ask for money.

So there are two methods – and both are so important. Deal with shadchanim. And pray constantly to Hakodosh Boruch Hu for help.

TAPE #E-229