Rav Avigdor Miller on Fooling Your Wife 

Q: Many times the Rav has advocated here that a person should demonstrate good character, even though he doesn’t really have good character. You said tonight that a man should always act like a fine gentleman even though he isn’t. But isn’t that just plain wrong because we’re deceiving people? 

Keep on deceiving them! If you can deceive your wife for the next seventy years into thinking that you’re a nice fellow, then deceive her. You do whatever you can, all day long, to make her think that you’re a wonderful fellow, a gem of a person.

And when it comes to the next world, she will say, “Oh, he was such a wonderful husband.” So they’ll say, “He wasn’t such a fine fellow.” So she’s say, “No! He was wonderful, a wonderful husband!” And Hashem will take her word for it. Hashem will say, “I’ll take your word for it.”

So you keep on deceiving everybody – and not only your wife but everybody  – and Hakodosh Boruch Hu will reward you for it. Now, that doesn’t mean that you should say that you’re a fine fellow, no. But you should always act like a fine fellow, and Hakodosh Boruch Hu will reward you for that.
TAPE # 920 (July 1993)