If someone has to go to a family event and he thinks that it’ll just be a big waste of time how can he protect himself from the negative influences?
What kind of event?
If someone has to go to a wedding, how can he protect himself? That’s a good question.
I’ll give you some advice but don’t tell it to the people there.
As you stand at the wedding, think of Hakodosh Boruch Hu. Think about that. There’s so much to think about. What will you think about? You heard something tonight. You heard about tzelem Elokim. Think about that. And as they say “Mazel tov, mazel tov,” and so on and as they’re dancing, you do everything with them; but you think these thoughts all the time. All the time.
I’ll give you another thing to do. As you’re at the wedding, look at all the frum Jews. They’re all frum Jews. You should think, “Hashem should bless this one with a long life.” “This one should live long.” “And this one should live long and be healthy.” If you bless Jews, it’s a big mitzvah. It’s a big mitzvah to bless the Jewish people. You know that? You never thought about that? ואברכה מברכיך – I’ll bless those who bless you.
So let’s say you’re sitting at a chasunah. You’re bored. What should you do? People are sitting and eating. So you think, “Hakadosh Baruch Hu should bless this Jew.” Now, don’t say it – think it. “Hashem should bless this one.” “This one should live long.” “He should marry off his daughters.” “He should make a lot of money.” “He should be happy.” Youre blessing all the frum Jews, one by one. You’re doing a very big mitzvah. It sounds crazy? It’s worth being crazy.
So if you want to think about Hakdosh Boruch Hu, all right. If you want to bless the Am Yisroel, do it. And so while you’re at the wedding, you’re doing mitzvos all the time. Every time you say “I’m giving a bracha to this Jew over there he should live long. That Jew should live long,” you should know you’re doing a devar Hashem. Hashem wants you to bless the Am Yisroel. ואברכה מברכיך. And even Bilam said the same thing. מברכיך ברוך. To bless a Jew is a wonderful thing.
If you have nothing else to do, I would say that while you’re sitting there, talk over the Ketzos Hachoshen. You ever learned Ketzos Hachoshen? Oh, it’s a wonderful limud. Think of a Ketzos Hachosen. You’re thinking about how you can do pidyon haben with a kohen katan. A wonderful Ketzos Hachoshen! A kohen katan, can you give him pidyon haben? He has no yad to be koneh. It’s a question. You’re thinking about that. You can say maybe it’s da’as acheres makneh. The father has a yad so it’s different. Then you say no, that’s only if it’s your money. But it’s tovas hanaah, this money. It’s not your money. Tovas hanaah is not mammon to be makneh al yidei daas acheres. You’re thinking about a Ketzos. Ahh! It’s a wonderful thing. If you know a Ketzos Hachoshen, think it over at a wedding.
Don’t waste any time. It’s a pity to waste your life.
I suggest giving blessings. That’s easy. Everybody can give blessings. Give blessings, certainly. Or think about what you heard tonight. Think about tzelem Elokim. Think about Adam in Gan Eden. There are so many wonderful lessons. Our minds should be full of these things. If you remember a blatt gemara ba’al peh, say it ba’al peh the blatt gemara. Whatever it is, you don’t need to waste your life.
TAPE # E-251 (October 2000)