Q:
How can someone who is constantly sad because they have no children, be thankful to Hashem?
A:
And the answer is, the Chovos Halevovos says that if you are one of the privileged ones who has no children, you should thank Hashem always. You should be grateful that He absolved you from the obligation of children.
Now pay attention.
What do you we need children for? Are we little girls that we need baby dolls? Something to play with? It’s irrational. And it’s selfish. That’s what children are for?
Children are given to us by Hashem as a responsibility. However it’s our job not to dodge it. Certainly you have to marry young and have as many as you can because that’s Hakodosh Boruch Hu’s command. פרו ורבו! You must do that.
And as they come and the obligations are raining down upon you, you’re going crazy from even one child; so go crazy from ten. It’s the same thing. It’s a big mistake; women think if they don’t have more they won’t go crazy. I’ve seen woman who claim they are crazy from one baby. So you might as well go crazy over a lot.
But suppose Hakodosh Boruch Hu didn’t give; so it’s silly for a person to waste his life in sadness. On the contrary, breathe a sigh of relief, like the Chovos Halevovos says, and be grateful; now you can go ahead and do the great things in life.
How many women have time to read a Kuzari or to read the Chovos Halevovos – in translation you can read it too. A woman can become great now that she has no children. She’s not of that bent of mind? She can become great in gemilus chassodim. There are careers in helping other people; a lot of things to do that mothers of families cannot do.
Now, mothers of families תבוא עליהם ברכה – blessed should they be with all their chores; certainly Hakodosh Boruch Hu will reward them. But the Chovos Halevovos says that you should thank Hashem when you have no children because He has exonerated you from those obligations and now you can do a lot of things that people with children cannot do. And don’t waste your life mourning because that shows that you don’t understand the purpose of life.
The purpose of life is to serve Hakodosh Boruch Hu. How do you serve Him? In whatever manner He requires of you. So if he deposits children on your doorstep, so that’s what’s required of you. And if He doesn’t, so He requires other things. And there’s so many requirements in life that there’s never any spare time. Never do you have any leisure times to take off from avodas Hashem.
And so people should always be busy in serving Hashem in one way or the other. To utilize life for its purpose; whether it’s by raising children or by raising somebody else’s children or by raising money for people to have children or by raising your mind to heights of avodas Hashem by creating a mind filled with all the attitudes and ideals of the Torah.
TAPE # 457
