What should a girl do if a her potential chosson says that he intends to learn forever?


She should change her mind about him and she should look for somebody else. Every man has the right to learn for a certain amount of time but he must be clear in his conviction that eventually he must support his family. If a young man makes a condition with his kallah that no matter what he will be learning forever, then he is not a useful person at all. Forget about him.

Now, it could be that sometimes things work out. He might, let’s say, get a very big stipend from a kollel. Or sometimes he might, for example, get an opportunity to give shiur in a high-level Mesivta. He’s saying a shiur for talmidei chachomim and he’s making a parnasa. That’s a pleasure! And then he can learn forever. Sure, why not?

But if he makes a stipulation beforehand – if he tells you, “I’m never going to work,” then I think you should forget about him.

TAPE # E-180

By |2023-07-15T01:19:53+08:00May 20, 2020|Q & A|0 Comments

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