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Q:

How is the statement nashim daatan kalos, that women have light minds, explained?

A:

And the answer is that women are not stubborn. And it’s a wonder, it’s a miracle that they’re not. Because why should she marry you? You propose to her – what do you have to offer? Many times it’s a miracle that any man gets married. You look at his face and listen to him talk, and you’re surprised that he got married. But he found some foolish girl who took him. Almost every fool finds a foolish woman that accepts him. And that’s nashim daatan kalos, women are light headed. 

And even after they married, they’re light headed in the sense that even though sometimes they’re wronged, sometimes they’re insulted, but it’s not so hard to win over an angry wife. To win over an angry husband is a more difficult job. Men are more stubborn and women are more yielding. That’s what it means; their minds are lighter – they’re more yielding. And it’s a very great advantage in the family because when there are quarrels, it’s usually the woman who takes the first step to placate the husband.  Otherwise, when you have an embittered woman, a stubborn woman, so you know you’re headed for divorce. It’s a great blessing that woman are daatan kalos. 

Now, it doesn’t mean in a negative sense, that their minds are lightheaded, that they don’t have sense. In a certain sense it’s the opposite – the gemara says that bina yeseira nitna lenashim, that women have a stronger understanding; they can have intuition in certain areas where many men will do foolish things, dangerous things, and even risk their parnasa and sometimes their lives, whereas a woman sees through it right away. 

Here is a man who got a bump on his car from somebody driving behind him. So he gets out bristling and shouting. But he made a mistake because now there comes out from the other car a very big man. But he wants to maintain his bluff, so he raises his fists. And his wife sees that there’s tzaros. So his wife screams and drags him back to the car.

Now, that’s the worst thing that could be; it’s a big shame for him to retreat. But his wife is pulling him, so he acts like he’s yielding to her and he gratefully climbs back into the car. You see this always on the street. Because with a little bit of common sense a woman can look through all the falsehood of men’s artificial lives. To him, to win the battle of staring him down, that’s more important than saving his life. But to her, to save him from getting being beaten up is more important than winning the staring battle. That’s what it means nashim daatan kalos.
TAPE # 427

By |2023-07-14T22:33:16+08:00November 8, 2020|Q & A|0 Comments

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