How does one break the habit of losing one’s temper?
Now, that requires a little more knowledge of the circumstances. But this I can tell you. If you know that there are certain things that cause an outbreak; let’s say, you know that arguments about money cause you to lose it, then you have to be careful, when it comes to such questions. You have to prepare yourself because forewarned is forearmed.
So let’s say, your wife comes and says she wants more money for a certain expensive item, something you think is a waste. So as soon as you hear that, what do you do? You excuse yourself and go into the bathroom. And remain there for a while and say to yourself, “Cool it, cool it! No matter what, you cool it!” And then say – this you can’t say inside the bathroom but when you get out, you say מענה רך משיב חמה – “A soft answer turns away wrath” (Mishlei 15:1). So even if you’ll say no to your wife, but it depends how you say the no; if you say no in a gentle way, so the response won’t be so explosive.
TAPE # 467