Rav Avigdor Miller on Love At First Sight

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Q:
I’m in the parsha of shidduchim right now and someone told me that when the right one comes along it will be love at first sight. Is that true?


A:
It’s definitely untrue. You have to know that הקדוש ברוך הוא has prepared wrong ones too. And many times, the wrong ones come along first. And you’re going to have to be sure that you’ll make it love at second sight, and the third sight. And your love at first sight means nothing at all. The truth is that your sight means nothing at all. You’re a blind fool. You don’t see your kallah. You see her hair all puffed up, that’s what you see. And you’re hooked. Hook, line and sinker. You’re caught.

The best way to look at your kallah is through the eyes of your mother, or your aunt. When your aunt looks at the kallah, she sees her. When your mother sees the kallah, she sees her. But you? All you see is her hair and her painted eyelashes.

And that’s why in the olden days, the women used to make the shidduchim. They knew this and this girl, and they knew, that’s the right one. They knew her. They knew her character. But the boy doesn’t know anything about the character. He sees she has a nose, he sees the painted eyelashes, he sees the paint on the lips, and he’s captured. That’s love at first sight. Love at first sight is meaningless.

TAPE # 609