Q:
The Rav said that he can’t justify people not getting married. But couldn’t it be that there are some people who are just not meant to get married? Like some people who are poor all their lives and wouldn’t be able to support a family anyways?
A:
Now, if some people are poor all their lives, I still can’t justify them. Why didn’t these people learn a parnasah?! Why are they poor?! It’s an aveirah to be poor. אפס כי לא יהיה בך אביון – “There shall surely be no poor among you” (Devarim 15:4). That means that a man must do whatever he can to not bring himself to poverty (Bava Metzia 30b, רשי ד”ה לא יהיה בך אביון). You shouldn’t be a poor man. It’s an aveirah to be poor. A person has to do whatever he can to avoid poverty. And many poor people have themselves to blame. Why shouldn’t they learn some kind of parnasah?! There are many kinds of parnasah. Take the yellow book – those yellow pages – and you’ll find a thousand kinds of livelihoods to make.
Now, people who don’t marry, in most cases it’s their fault. First of all, how can you marry if you’re not prepared to support a wife?! A man yesterday spoke to me. He still doesn’t have a shidduch. And he’s turning thirty years old. I asked him, “Do you have a job?” “No,” he says. No?! So how can you look for a shidduch if you don’t have a job when you’re thirty years old. It’s ridiculous! A girl would have to be crazy to marry you! I didn’t tell him that, but that’s the truth. He wants a shidduch?! I said to him, “You have to support a wife.”
And that lesson is very important. Learn a parnasah! Go into computers. Many people can make a living in computers. And other things too. There are hundreds of parnasahs. And people who don’t marry, you should know, Hakodosh Boruch Hu will hold them accountable. They are responsible not only for the cheit of not marrying but they are responsible for the cheit of not having children. And grandchildren and great-grandchildren. The Rambam says (Hilchos Sanhedrin 12:3) that when you kill a person it’s as if you destroyed an olam malei. And when you bring a child into the – [at this point the tape ended, וחבל על דאבדן]
TAPE # E-173 (December 1998)
