How far do you have to go for shalom?
You have to go to the end of the world for shalom. You must do everything for shalom because shalom means you’re making your character perfect.
כל עניני העולם נסיונות הם לאדם – all the things in this world were made as tests for man. A wife tests a husband and a husband tests a wife. They’re made to test each other. Of course you shouldn’t look for a woman that will test you too much. You shouldn’t look for a husband that will give you too much of a test. Once you’re married, however, make up your mind that’s your mitzvah, that’s your test. That’s your Olam Hazeh and Olam Haboh.
And you will not lose out. A person who doesn’t get excited will live longer. Make up your mind no matter what, you’re married to this meshugene now and that’s it. Now, don’t tell him that, don’t tell her that, but that’s it. All your life, do your best to get along with that person. You’re both meshugeh. That’s the truth; both are meshugeh. He thinks he deceived her. But she also deceived him. They deceived each other when they married.
I know a case of a man who had a nervous breakdown. He came out of the hospital and he was looking for a shidduch. Who will marry a man who had a nervous breakdown? Finally he found a girl. He deceived her. He didn’t tell her. He married her. He was so happy. After they married, he discovered she was an epileptic. They deceived each other.
And therefore all your life try to deceive your wife. Make her think you’re a nice fellow. Make your husband think you’re a nice person. Try your best to deceive each other all your life.
TAPE # E-147 (July 1998)