Rav Avigdor Miller on Marrying the Right One

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Q:
Is it possible for someone to lose his zivug? How is that?

A:
This man most likely means before marriage. Can a person make a mistake and not marry the right girl? And the answer is that when you marry somebody that is the right one! It’s the yetzer harah that tells you otherwise. Hakodosh Boruch Hu knows what He’s doing. That’s your zivug, that’s your bashert.

Let me explain to you. According to Hakodosh Boruch Hu’s plan you can have fifteen wives, eighteen wives, or twenty wives. A melech, a king, can only have eighteen wives; but you could have more. Al pi din, it’s not ossur. In certain countries they still have that minhag to have more than one wife. So therefore a zivug is possible with many wives. Of course, after Rabeinu Gershom said that you can’t have such a thing in Europe, so no longer in Europe can you have more than one wife. But it doesn’t mean that there’s only one that’s your zivug. So this is one of your zivugim and do the best you can with that one zivug and that’s your success in this world.
TAPE # E-117 (July 1997)