Q:
Should a boy or a girl move out of the house if he or she finds it difficult to get along with parents?
A:
Let me state emphatically at the outset that this is a very bad and dangerous practice. A son or a daughter naturally should remain in the parents’ home until marriage. Unless he is a yeshiva man who goes away to a yeshiva. But he doesn’t set up housekeeping by himself. You cannot imagine how many pitfalls there are for a single person – boy or girl. And therefore it’s a wicked practice and we must raise our voices against this. From the father’s house he should go to the chuppah! Al ken ya’azov ish es aviv ve’es imo vedavak b’ishto – when he forsakes his father and mother he goes to his wife. But in between it’s very inadvisable to be alone.
However, there are circumstances when the parents are not kosher or when the parents interfere too much in the Torah observance; sometimes it cannot be helped but by all means it should be avoided as much as possible. It’s a wicked practice and boys and girls are falling by the wayside because of this. Everybody needs a mashgiach. Nobody is so righteous that he can rely on himself and under the eyes of your parents you are more certain than under your own supervision.
TAPE # 41 (December 1974)
