How much force should one apply when pushing a shidduch? What is considered too much pushing?
A:
And the answer is that you do whatever is necessary, על פי אמת. You shouldn’t use any deception. No, you can’t do that. But suppose it’s a truthful statement. Suppose she’s a very good girl. Or he’s a very good boy. Then you should not spare any words. If you’re being truthful then press it as far as you can. It’s a benefit to that person, so press it as far as you can.
But, if you’re going to use, let’s say, deception merely because you want to succeed in making a שידוך, no, no. You can’t do that. You have to watch out. That’s already a dangerous thing to do. But if you know that it’s absolutely a very good בחור or a very good girl, then don’t spare any effort. It’s a מצוה to be a good שליח for הקדוש ברוך הוא.
TAPE #E-176