Rav Avigdor Miller on Raising Difficult Children 

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Q:
What should a person do if he feels like he’s going through a lot of difficulties raising his children? 

A:
If a person is bringing up children בדרך התורה, only that it turns out that it’s a difficult job to do, he should know that his reward is tremendous. The Gemara says that if a person has צער גידול בנים, if he has difficulties in raising his children, then אינו רואה פתחה של גהינים – “he won’t even have to walk past the door of Gehenim.” So when you pass out of this world, you will go straight to Olam Habah.

The mitzvah of גידול בנים, raising up children, is one of the biggest mitzvos of the Torah! You know what it means to make Jews?! You suffer from them. But the more you suffer, the greater is the reward. Now, if you have a good boy or a good girl, and they caused you no suffering because they themselves chose to do good all the time, you’ll still get reward. But not a reward like that one who suffers. צער גידול בנים makes you a wealthy person. You should know that the reward in Gan Eden is to sit on a golden throne just because you suffered in this great cause of raising up children for the service of Hashem. Because that’s the true success of a Jew in this world, to raise up a family that will serve Hashem and remain after him forever and ever.
TAPE # E-218 (January 2000)