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Q:

If a boy takes a girl to dinner for a shidduch and it doesn’t work out, does he have a mitzvah of doing gemilus chasadim because he gave her a free meal?

A: 

That’s a pilpul!  And the answer is, certainly.  Even though you did it with the kavanah not for the purpose of gemilus chasadim, but b’dieved, if looking back you’re not sorry, then certainly you get a certain merit for that. If you’re sorry, you won’t have any mitzvah. But if you’re satisfied that you gave her a meal, then you have a certain zchus.

Because there’s a certain ma’amar in the Yerushalmi; it says there that if you lost a dollar in the street – it shouldn’t happen – but let’s say you lost a dollar and you’re thinking, “If a poor man will find that dollar, I’m willing he should have it,” so you have a certain zchus of tzedaka. Of course, it’s better to give it directly.  But b’dieved, looking back, you can assign that dollar in your mind for tzedaka. If you’re satisfied that a poor man should find it, you have a certain element of tzedaka. So if you look back and think, “I’m sorry it didn’t work out, but I’m happy that I gave a fellow Jew a free meal,” it’s still something.

Any kind of thing that you did shelo l’shem Shamayim, if later you look back and you put some thought into it – you want that it should be done for a good purpose, you get a certain merit for that.
TAPE # 999

By |2023-07-14T23:58:54+08:00August 3, 2020|Q & A|0 Comments

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