What would the Rav advise me to do if my wife doesn’t dress with צניעות, she’s not so sensitive to dressing modestly, and I would like to help her change that?
You should say, “Look my dear Chanaleh, I want to make a deal with you. If you’ll take this dress that you have, and sew on a little more cloth on the sleeves, or make the neckline a little higher, I’m going to buy you a diamond ring.” That’s what you should do. It’s worth money! דבר תורה מעות קונות – Money works to help along when it comes to acquiring Torah attitudes (term borrowed from Eiruvin 81b). Money always helps with the good things like that.
So buy her a diamond ring, and you won’t have to argue with her. She’ll quickly become a צנוע, a woman who dresses modestly, for that. Not everything is as easy as that, and even in this case it really depends on the situation, but some things are easy. And the same goes for a wife dealing with a husband. Whatever it is, you have to be smart when dealing with other people.
TAPE # E-121 (September 1997)