Rav Avigdor Miller on The Learning Boy

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Q:
What should a girl do if her chosson says that he intends to learn forever?

A:
She should change her mind about him, and she should look for somebody else. Every man has the right to learn for a certain amount of time, but he must be clear in his conviction that eventually he must support his family. If a young man makes a condition with his kallah that no matter what, he will be learning forever, then he is not a useful person at all. Forget about him.

Now, it could be that sometimes things work out. He might, let’s say, get a very big stipend from a Kollel. Or sometimes he might, for example, get an opportunity to give shiur in a high-level Mesivta. He’s saying a shiur for talmidei chachomim and he’s making a parnasa. That’s a pleasure! And then he can learn forever. Sure, why not?

But if he makes a stipulation beforehand – if he tells you, “I’m never going to work,” then I think you should forget about him.

TAPE #E-180