Q:
You said about a year ago once that we should not believe in romance; that the Torah does not believe in romance. But it says Parshas Chayei Sara that Yitzchok Avinu married Rivka, and it says ויאהבה – that he loved her. Can you explain this?
A:
Yes. Reb Ezra is asking a question. If you, Rabbi Miller, are opposed to romance so why is it that it states that Yitzchok, after he married his wife, he loved her?
And the answer is romance is only before marriage. In order to bring romance to an end, you get married.
You know that? Romance is finished and now it’s something else. ותהי לו לאשה ויאהבה – And Rivka became his wife and he loved her (Chayei Sara 24:67). And the love that develops after marriage as in the case of Yitzchok, that’s the love of a very close and near relative. A wife is a very close relative, a special kind of relative, and that feeling of love certainly develops and ripens with the years.
But the romantic attitude that exists previous to marriage is not sanctioned and it’s not encouraged. And 95% of it is a false attitude that has been fostered by the Western culture of the last 300, 400 years.
TAPE # 57 (November 1974)
