Toras Avigdor Junior
Parshas Metzora
The Elephant Flies Away
After the fiasco with Tzadok’s helicopter crashing at the airport, Mayor McGillicuddy took a liking to Tzadok “Hatzadik” and made him his “chief kabbalah advisor”.
“Tzadok,” said Mayor McGillicuddy, looking up from a pile of paperwork on his desk. “Have you seen my zoo?”
“You hev zoo?” Tzadok said in wonder. “I love zoos – most of my segulot come from animals! Can ve go see it now?”
“Oh that’s a great idea,” said the mayor, tossing the stack of papers into the trash can. “Let’s go!”
*
“Isn’t this the best place for a zoo, Tzadok?” the Mayor asked proudly, as they arrived.
Tzadok stroked the remaining half of his bead. “Zis is not good place for zoo,” he said. “You should move it someplace else. In a place vhat has more trees.”
The mayor looked around. “You’re absolutely right!” he exclaimed. “I know just the place! Let’s move all of the animals right now!”
“Oh I vould love to help!” Tzadok said. “I can take zat crocodile in my car!”
Mayor McGillicuddy quickly arranged for the zookeepers to all take the various animals to the zoo’s new location. A giraffe went into a pickup truck, penguins into the back of a station wagon, an elephant into a minivan, and the alligator went into the backseat of Tzadok’s rental car.
“I’ll see you back at City Hall!” the mayor called to Tzadok, as he got into his waiting limousine.
Tzadok got into his car and started driving, the other vehicles following behind him. The crocodile thrashed around in the back seat as Tzadok sang to him in an attempt to calm him down.
“Kol haolam kulo… gesher tzar me’od…” Tzadok trilled as they drove over a bridge…
Suddenly there was a loud crashing sound. Tzadok looked over his shoulder to see the bridge collapsing behind him under the weight of the minivan that was carrying the elephant.
“Yishtabach shemo!” cried Tzadok as he realized that had he only been a few feet further back he would have also crashed with the falling bridge.
Tzadok continued driving and saw that he was approaching Agudas Yisroel of St. Louis. Seeing that it was time for Mincha, he parked the car, sternly instructed the crocodile to stay, and walked into the shul.
Inside, Rabbi Bromberg looked up from his sefer as Tzadok entered. “Sholom aleichem,” Rabbi Bromberg said warmly, “you must be Tzadok ‘Hatzadik’!”
“Yes zat is me,” Tzadok answered. “And today is a special day because Hashem showed me zat I really am a tzadik!”
“He did?” asked Rabbi Bromberg. “How so?”
Tzadok related to Rabbi Bromberg how he had been saved from the collapsing bridge, while the car with the elephant wasn’t as lucky.
“So you see,” Tzadok finished, “obviously zat elephant and his driver were reshaim, but I am a Tzadik so I was saved!”
“Tzadok, are you sure that is the only possible explanation?” Rabbi Bromberg asked gently.
“Of course!” Tzadok said indignantly. “What else could it possibly mean?”
“Well,” said Rabbi Bromberg, stroking his full beautiful beard. “Years ago, when I lived in Brooklyn, I used to go to Rav Avigdor Miller’s Thursday night shiurim. And I heard him speak about the korbanos of the metzora. Did you know that the metzora would bring two birds to the Beis Hamikdash, but only one was brought as a korbon? The other one was set free.”
“Oh I bet I can find the one that was set free,” Tzadok said thoughtfully. “I could sell the feathers for a lot of money!”
“Tzadok, listen to me,” Rabbi Bromberg continued. “Rabbi Miller explained that the reason one of the birds was set free was to teach the metzora a lesson. This man could have been stuck with tzora’as for the rest of his life, but Hashem gave him a huge gift of being completely healed, just like the bird who escaped. Hashem is telling the metzora:‘look! You could have died from this tzora’as, but I’m giving you another chance! Take this opportunity to look around at all of the chessed that Hashem does for you! Do teshuvah and spend the rest of your life thanking Me for saving you and giving you another chance at life!”
“So you mean I’m not really a Tzadik?” asked Tzadok.
“I can’t answer that,” Rabbi Bromberg said. “But I can tell you that you now have the opportunity to start a new career of being thankful to Hashem for saving you, among everything else He does for you. It’s a job that never ends!”
“Amazing!” said Tzadok, as a loud snarl and screams were heard from outside of the shul. “But speaking of animals escaping, I just remembered I have a loose crocodile in the back of my car! I gotta run! Thank you, Rabbi!”
Have A Wonderful Shabbos!
Takeaway
So many people have problems that I was saved from. I thank You, Hashem!